why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
why?
85
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 8:05pm

do we offer so much....and accept so little?


God, I'm in pain.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 8:38am

I read

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 12:43pm

so-sad


My posts flit back and forth from sadness to comedy to, yes let's be honest, a twinge of sarcasm. However, I am primarily channeling my energies into these posts, in order

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 1:07pm

One thing I can say for sure is that your posts are definately worth reading. You write so well and clear. In the end , your words spell....Help me I am in pain. I wish I could help you, I can barely help myself. Through the years I have been to T and up until recently I never wanted to listen to what my therapist advised. I wanted to do things my way, I was different than all of her other clients who had or were having affairs. After many hours of talking and lots and lots of money spent the best advice I got was do not talk to this man again and simply walk away. It took me 3 1/2 years of my life to finally be able to do that.


From what you wrote I still don't know your story but I can surmise what has happened. It seems like you are in a big mess. It seems as though you were hurt so deeply by a women you loved with all of your heart. My advice w/o knowing really what happened between the two of

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 1:21pm

so-sad,


We have bonded, as have some of the others on this thread through a common theme. There are many things to say and to leave unsaid. I am toying with revealing the whole story, but ultimately cannot decide if that is a good thing.


Life will eventually go on. I have

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 1:51pm

If you feel like revealing your story then you should. Maybe it can be helpful to you in some way. Maybe someone else here on this board will

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 4:12pm

Mickey,

I am with you every step of the way. I feel sometimes i am better, I have to take stuff to get to sleep at night but overall I am better. I am trying to focus and stay upbeat. I too think I am getting stronger and getting over him...I have some lows. Nights I pray and I eventually fall asleep. I pray that God takes him from my thoughts. I literally chant repeatedly and then the sleeping meds kick in.

I am all over the place at different times...but overall, better. I have to believe I can do this. Everyday I make it without him, i feel like that day is mine....sure it hurts..but overall, I am beating this.

and you are right, it does not matter if he is over you or not. I am often wonder myself, today I almost got caught in awful thoughts of mm with his wife, kids, and their fam enjoying xmas...thought they are all happy and i am suffering....but then i realized what POF said, they will never be happy and I actually have a chance at it by getting away.

he is not going to change, it takes too much work to look back and see how you affect people and how you hurt the people you claim to care about....I am done, I am have not even cyberstalked. I am changing my number, I blocked him, fresh new year for me. I wish he would change his. the best part is, I am suprising myself. i have been blocked by him at my request. but i could always call from another number as could he....so changing everything would be best. That way I do not have to worry about him calling....which may not be an issue. he has not called in weeks, so maybe he is over me...but maybe i just need to make sure he can not ever. I wish he would change his....worried i might get weak one day...but the funny part is, i have not yet, and I am the weak one, perhaps i am so hurt by his ACTIONS....

he has dogged me out so bad...said horrible untrue things to me....i was p by this mans wishes. it was his idea...sick man. a very sick man. a broken morally bankrupt man.

i dont think i will ever see him, we met online (now I know better). I live in a big city, I do not go out much. i am not into bars or clubs...the likleyhood of me seeing him is about as likely as Santa relaly coming down my chimney tonight. I work from home and I do not know where he works.....so unless he shows up at my door, i doubt we will ever see one another again
but the fantasy sounds so good....
and I feel the same way you do about everything you said about being really happy and looking good for you and be happy, truly happy and free. I am so looking forward to it.

I hope you have a great holiday...I hope you smile. I hope we both do. We deserve to. We deserve to be happy. Why let then take our joy, they took enough.....way too much, bout time we take it all back

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 4:35pm

hello,

I wish we knew one another....I wish I could come to your painting party. I wish I could comfort you with my words or a hug....I am hurting too. Tomorrow is Christmas and although I am feeling stronger overall. I am always scared about tumbling over and falling apart.

I do not know if this brings the slightest consolation and I am not writing to just write...But u seem to be an amazing man, wonderful in every way imaginable. Kind, Bright and insightful. A good women would appreciate those things....key word was a good women...but man, she was lucky to have had you. Lucky to have had been loved like you loved her.

Back to you. Again, U seem AMAZING, but more than that. the last few days have been amazing for me becaouse of you. Yes, I have hurt, but everytime i read something you write, I am floored. I am taught. I am touched. I am healed just a bit more. I can not tell you how much you have meant to so many of us. Perhaps we are not the ones you want stroking your ego....i do not know. I am just saying...that you have been really great to me and I do not even know you...

I have been able to get up shower and get thru the day due to you and other posters. I look forward to reading everyword you say. I hope that you are finding some comfort here as well.

Please, Please, Please...do not leave us.

what do you mean by telling your story? do you mean to us on the board? or do you mean going to MW's H? what do you mean? I am just a little unclear....U def sound down and I am concerned for you and I wish I could make you feel better...I wish I had a majic wand to heal us all. ...

we just have to go thru this I guess....but please stay and please let me know you are ok. I am genuinely concerned....but more than that. I am here to listen to you vent etc...

if you need to lean on me for strength today and tomorrow, i promise i will be here....christmas and all I promise I will be here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 8:52pm

To Mickey925, so-sad and siennajaden,


You guys are amazing. I am truly touched by everything. Siennajaden, your last post brought tears to my eyes, genuinely moved by your words. To think that I have helped someone else through the day is enough for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 9:17pm

I am here for you.....Let me start this post off with wishing you a very Merry Christmas. I know that tonight and tomorrow are going to be difficult days to get through but you can do it. The days will come and go....


You will only fall if you let yourself fall. I am sure in your life you have

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
In reply to: kmg6
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 9:30pm
happy you are out.....have a nice dinner party. try to enjoy yourself.
Tonight is especially hard for me...not sure why, but i am happy you are out and about. please write tomorrow, or i will write you some story....hopeful when that makes you smile...or something that will make you write me something really great and clears my head....maybe we will act like its any other day and support eachother thru something, anything....lol. I just hope you have a nice night, we all deserve some peace

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