Why Affairs Suck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Why Affairs Suck
14
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 5:50pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 8:45am

Hi Everyone-


There are a million and one reasons why A's suck. For me, looking back, my A sucked because it caused me to create a distorted perception of my real life. I felt that I deserved more than what I had and actually fabricated stories that I in turn came to believe in to justify my own bad behavior. I was completely and utterly out of touch with reality- and that is not like me...


Last night, after enjoying a cocktail on the back porch with my H, I realized that had I stayed in the A, I would have eventually left my H for good... there'd be no more cocktails on the back stoop. There'd be no house, no dogs, no marriage... and realizing now, that I could have lost everything that really matters to me, solidifies, yet again, that ending my A was the best thing that ever happened to me, despite how much it hurts.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:11am

Love this thread!


Affairs really do suck and all of the reasons listed are points I agree with 200%!


For me I found myself wanting to escape reality...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 12:59pm

Wow these are great.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 1:08pm

Why Affairs Suck?

This does not come from a place of pain anymore. I can say this is a warning. Not that you all need warnings...

My A sucked because like we all said, we do things we would never normally do.

I forgot about my own health. Put my life in jeopardy by not using condoms with a serial cheater. I was DUMB, DUMB, and DUMBER.....

They suck because they make you lose sight of EVERYTHING. Even your health. Which is so important, but you can not see it because the fog is so thick. Your health is so important. I am talking physical health. I put myself at so much risk. I can get rid of MM. What you can not get rid of is HIV or Herpes and the like....thankfully, I made it past those. But I got caught another way. It was devastating. But I learned a lesson. A hard one.

Know that when I used to write of these poor unhealthy decisions, I would be sobbing. Not anymore. I an thankful for the hurt and pain. I had to go thru it to be whole again. To believe in me, to love me.

So while they suck, if you can recover from an A. U will shine like you never have and no one will ever have nothing on you....Not your spirit. No one can take it again....you would not let em.

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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