Why am I disappointed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2010
Why am I disappointed?
7
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 11:00am

Ugh.

Imustenjoypain!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 11:55am

But you do have someone to talk to--you have us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 12:11pm

I am going to steal words from Iddy on this one. She sent posted this on one of my posts:

As much as we try to convince ourselves it is best they don’t respond, the truth is that your ego was hoping for more. It’s time to set your ego aside and be ready to tackle all the emotions that will pop up over the next month or two *without* expecting anything from anyone. This is your uphill battle now, and although we can support you on that battlefield as best we can, the real strength and determination for winning this war will have to come from within you.

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 12:33pm
Any suggestions on how to set aside my ego?
Imustenjoypain!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2009
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 12:37pm

I know how you feel. Being almost 3 months out, I am so thankful that xAP made no contact with me (until last night but I'm not going to count that). It took me a long time to feel thankful about it though - instead of angry, hurt, sad, jealous... I truly believe it's out of respect for you. I was able to heal because he gave me time to do so...so like you said, it is a blessing that he only answered your direct questions. Oh yeah, and it really does get better :)

Stay strong!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 3:04pm

Seems like a lot of bad days have been going around. Do you a close friend you can meet for coffee, or children to go home to and hug? Just saying....this will pass but a RL hug wouldn't hurt if you aren't getting any satisfaction our of ours. :-(


How do you set aside your ego? Go have a piece of humble pie. ;-) Seriously, XAP is respecting your boundaries and you have to accept this as a good thing. As more time passes, you will.


((Hugs))...whether you want them or not!

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 3:43pm

Of course I will take the cyberhugs....I'm not too proud to beg.

Imustenjoypain!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 4:12pm

Hi IMEP,


It is very good that you are asking questions about why you feel the way you do.


I also have some questions to throw out. I would first like to say you don’t have to answer any questions that you don’t feel comfortable with and you also don’t have to answer them here on the board. They may be good questions to journal about.


When xAP didn’t give you anything in his reply that you were hoping for, did it remind you of someone else in your life either in your present or past?


Why is it important to you that he say something beyond work related matters to you? What would it mean to you if he did?


Do you give yourself freedom to have the emotions you feel or do you try to squelch your emotions and not give them validation?


What part of the A do you still see yourself holding on to and why?


You are only two weeks NC and I would not normally ask these questions to someone so fresh but you seem to have made an amazing about of progress in a short amount of time and I see your deep desire to get to the bottom of what is eating at IMEP.


Are you currently in IC?


Big hugs,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.