Why can't I get over it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Why can't I get over it?
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 2:29pm
Hello everyone,

I am in a 2-year relationship with a man (we'll call him PM) who has been described as the nicest person some have ever met. He is wonderful and he wants to marry me. There is only a 5 year age difference between us and he is ready while I am not.

I broke up with him early this year and for about a month, we really didn't speak. In that time I met a guy (we'll call him LC) who I had been kind of crushing on for a few months. I never knew him-- I had just seen him out a few times while I was out with friends and I thought he was just about the best looking man I had seen in a while. We began dating which led to us spending a lot of time together. It was simply heaven for me because he basically embodied everything I wanted in the person I was dating. In fact, he always suprised me because I always expected the worse and it was never that way. I guess I must have some self-esteem issues because I always thought he was too good looking to actaully be involved with me.

Anyway, our relationship progressed and we began sleeping together. Again, awesome and a really pleasant surprise. My ex found out and put the press on me to get back together. He was devasted to find out I had been seeing someone (he never knew how much of him I had been seeing) because he thought I just needed a break. I felt bad and called it off with the other guy to get back with my old boyfriend.

LC kept calling me and writing me and wanted to see me so I kept hanging out with him. One day PM found out because LC came over uninvited. We wroked through that and I swore I would end it again. LC kept calling me and telling me how unfair it was because he had feelings for me and he wanted to be with me. He knew I wanted out even after we got back together but I just didn't have the guts to do it. Well, I kept seeing LC and it had been for about 5 months. We were together a while ago but our relationship started turning into a dirty thing with him just e-mailing me and coming over and then not calling me for a few days. I don't know what to expect as I really let this one get ugly. I expected him to treat me a certain way when the reality was he didn't owe me anything. We don't really talk and I get sick at the thought of him seeing someone else. I am mourning that relationship when I have a BOYFRIEND!! Anyway, if anyone has some words of wisdom for me, I'd apreciate it.