Why did you pick your user name?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Why did you pick your user name?
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 11:15am

I know we have had this thread before.  And I know many of you do not have your original user name because Clarity made you change it :)

But there are newer folks here and I thought it might be fun and enlightening and empowering to talk about it.

I picked Cominginfromtherain because I really did feel like I was out there in the rain, by myself, freezing cold and wet.  But I completely put myself out there, to get rained on.  What did I expect was going to happen, sheesh.

I have kept it because it reminds me of just how I felt that day.  I found EAS on a Thursday, joined and posted the next day and sent my NC text on Monday (no non-business hours texting rule).  Cried my eyes out the whole weekend in between.  The pain of staying in was too great though, even though I had ended the A 5 weeks before and we were "just friends" at that point.  I had to get out.  I was miserable.

Now, I am not miserable.  I am sad some days, sure.  And work and some other stuff is very stressful right now, and typically xAP was an escape from all of that.

But on the whole, I am much better off.  I am out of the (freezing cold, throwing it down) rain!



Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 1:57pm

Hi Rainyyyyyyyyyy!

I like fun threads like this.  Years ago when I posted on MAS, I was edsgirl...it was actually supposed to be edsdame (due to his gangster leanings...not that he is or was a gangster...just he grew up in those days and well this IS Boston, too...I think we all have a little bit of the gangster in us around here...something happened during its making...I'll blame it on my foster child at the time...she insisted she knew how to do it...it somehow ended up edsgirl...instead of dame).  

Anywhy...anywho, I decide one day that I didn't want to be defined by being somebody else's somebody...I was my own somebody...and I was feeling pretty clear this one particular day -this day I decided to change it-- and seeing that I was seeing with clarity, I saw to it go with that...withclarity. Lucky for me maybe that I didn't feel like changing my name the day before when I was most likely stillandtotallywithoutclarity...and well then, where would I be today?

I have been, and continue to be, referred to as Clarity, WC, Clar, Clair, Clarebear...and have, and will always, continue to respond to all Smile

Bye, Rainyyyyyy! 

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 6:14pm

Can I play?  :)

I used to have a different username, that had to do with the affair.  When I had my d-day, and my iVillage d-day (all at once) - when I came back to posting, I needed a new name, one that wasn't associated with the affair, or with xap or with any of that stuff.

So I thought of what my new name should be.  I felt like it should be something positive, and uplifting, and strong, and that it should really be reflective of my present and my future - not my past.  I wanted it to be about where I was going, not where I had been.

And then I remembered that I have no imagination, and that I really stink at naming things (Exhibit A:  I named a cat "Kitty" - true story!) and I don't do well under pressure.

One of the things that I decided in the immediate aftermath of d-day was that for good or for bad - I was going to be ME from then on.  I was done with pretending, done with trying to be someone else, done with trying to be who others thought I was, or wanted me to be.  I was just going to be me.  Just me, warts and all.  And one of the biggest parts of that was ditching some of my anonymity and putting my real name out there - Kim.

I'm just me.  Just Kim.  (And it was 2007.)

Not so very positive or uplifting or strong, after all.  But honest.  And so very ME.




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 12:09am

 Hey I can post now! not quite the case earlier today.  Okay..I had another name. something ridiculous like..notsopulled together. since..I came to these boards..well..not even CLOSE to pulled togehter. I was not ready to leave A..but knew for my own sanity I couldn't stay in. I changed after being informed that..well..i needed something more positive. 

I couldn't think of anything..because..I was..well..not so pulled together:) Numb..I believe, would be the word. But I remembered I had once done some sort of weird face book quiz and was designated the name revolutionary breeze.A few months later..I was at a "wild women's retreat" and given the name revolutionary breeze. I remembered that it was a name I joked about years before A..before becoming emotionally absent, etc. When I...you know ...lived. So I took it back. the name, that is. Still working on the fully engaging in life part.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

Avatar for Sogladitsanewday
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2012
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 7:45am


Finally I have managed to log in ... what on earth is going on with these boards ... it's a nonsenseYell

Well, I was a lurker for a long long time before I actually registered, probably about a year, reading all about affairs and how to end them, trying to end it, going back for more torture, and finally gaining the strength, knowledge and understanding to actually end it for good. I am unusual in that I didn't actually join the boards until about 3 months after I ended my A, so I was already over the worst of it, but I joined because I needed support because I was still very upset about the whole thing, and also I wanted to support others who were in the early stages, I know I couldn't have got through it without these boards, so I wanted others to know that they are not alone, everything that are feeling is everything that we have felt too. I chose the name "Sogladitsover" because that it simply how I felt, every day, from the first moment I ended it, I felt a lot of things including sadness, anger, disappointment, shame, rejection etc etc, but my constant everyday feeling was of relief that I was finally out of that destructive painful situation.

When the boards went completely loopy I couldn't log in at all, and all I could see was rubbish, and I was at the point of giving up when I decided to try registering a new name with a new e-mail. I chose the name "Sogladitsanewday" as a reflection of me now, and my outlook on life. My healing journey has been a kind of rebirth for me, and I am just so glad  that each day is a new day, and I try to make each day a good day, I am learning from my mistakes and trying to be a better person.

Much love to you all, Soglad x o x

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2011
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 5:50pm
Any help on how to change a name would be welcomed, my name is in reference to my XAP so I need to come up with a new positive /inspiring name :) I found information on how to change my password, but I can't find anything on changing a user name?? finishing up on day 19! My longest NC and I'm finally starting to feel the fog lifting :)

Sometimes love just isn't enough.... NC since 7-30-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2011
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 6:04pm
Just to clarify, obviously I can't count, it's 3 weeks tomorrow :)

Sometimes love just isn't enough.... NC since 7-30-14

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 6:12pm

I think we you are signed out, there's an option to your right 'sign in' or 'join'.  You might have to create a new email acct...that's easy enough...to attach a new ivillage acct to.

I say I think because the option is not there when you are signed in, and I'm signed in finally, and I'm afraid to sign out to take a look.

So, sign out and then check it out...lol


Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 9:42pm
My user name is totally and completely random and has no meaning :) When I came on and decided to post, and needed to create a user name, I came up with this. It was the first word that came to mind. I suppose at the time I thought it would be cuter to change the spelling of miscellaneous. So I did. Not sure why I added the 7. No significance... But I bet I can find a way to tie the name to me in some real way.. Hmmm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 10:35pm

Well shiver me petals, I think I remember this! i do love flowers so Daisy was easy, but I think I had this idea that it would be a touch-and-go landing, or like going through a car wash...hence the Daisy4now, as though I'd see you all later after afew weeks. HAH! i am still here, perennially it seems. I need this community as much now as a year or two ago. If I were savvy and the boards reliable I might become Daisy4ever or Daisyuntilcomposted, but 4now, I'm just Daisy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Fri, 01-11-2013 - 8:18am

Hi All

I remember coming to ivillage first time to get advice on how to cope being IN an affair.... so I joined MAS. I was totally confused and wanted to know what was going on in my xAP's head..So I just called myself whats_going_on.

I desperatly wanted someone there to confirm that those crumbs he was sending me were "love crumbs"... once I found out they were "heres enough to keep you hanging crumbs" (those type'a crumbs were effecting my mental health big time...and not to mention the amount of hair on my head!!!!), I made my move to EAS.

Still took me another 6 months before I got hurt and lost enough hair to make the move permenant!!! damn falling off the wagon...... !!

Now I've been NC a year, and realized that I don't give a rats #¤% whats going on in my xAPs head anymore...so my "name" doesn't really suit me anymore.... but at least my hair does not fall out by with million!

Love WGO - who has finally been able to log on today!!!!!!!!

Every recovery is a kind of rebirth