Why do I feel this way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Why do I feel this way?
6
Sun, 10-04-2009 - 10:02pm

I am currently on day seven of complete NC. It has been silent on all sides which I have seemed to handle okay up until now. I sobbed uncontrollably the night things were put to an end and I cried some the next night but not since then. Now all of a sudden I just feel different. I don't know if I would call it anger or resentment or something else. I have never felt this way and I don't understand it. I know it is unhealthy thinking but I found myself thinking last night and today that I wish he would call so I could just tell him to SHUT UP! I know this sounds completely juvenille but it is honestly how I feel. When I think back about everyting that has transpired over the last seven years I just feel angry. Angry at myself and angry at him. Is this normal? It does go away eventually, right?


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Sun, 10-04-2009 - 10:15pm

Yes, it's normal! I am proud of you for going 7 days.


Stay resolved. And, get go ahead mad, but do not contact him! Write him notes here and don't ever send them. And, don't be too hard on yourself...forgive yourself right away.


I caved at Day 7 because he called me. I foolishly thought he might

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 10-04-2009 - 11:46pm

Feelings are normal, kristin...no matter what they are.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Mon, 10-05-2009 - 1:12am

Thank you Clarity and Lofluv.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 10-05-2009 - 6:46am

Hi Kristin, just wanted to send you some support and let you know it has helped me reading your posts and also the replies. Speaking from personal experience its taking forever to get out of my 3 year A, there is so much to process. As Clarity says its ok to have the feelings its acting on them that causes the problems.

Well done on 7 days NC I do think complete NC, although really difficult at first, will get you through quicker than LC which just seems to prolong the emotional process.

Good luck and strength, keep posting and know you're not alone, endings suck.

((hugs)) Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Wed, 10-07-2009 - 4:35am

Thanks Roxy. I agree with the NC vs. LC. It was driving me crazy to see him all the time under the pretense of us all being friends. I am on day 9 now and feeling okay. I know it will get easier in time. Thanks for your support.


Hugs,


Kristin

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Wed, 10-07-2009 - 8:54am

Kristin,


Congrats on Day 9 (is it now 10??)! Hope you continue to stay strong and resolved.


I feel better today and am trying to make plans for the weekend, which is my hardest time.


Thanks for your posts. I have gained strength from the btdt that we all share! But, know it must be hard to still be in your M and not be able to work through your issues on your own. Even though I am D now, I don't get the time I need with the kids around and all of my work challenges. I am looking forward to taking some time off in about 2 weeks and hope that I am in an even better place than I am now so I can enjoy it (for the first time in years?!).


Hope the rest of your week goes well (and fast)!


-Lofluv