Why do I need validation from xMM??
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| Thu, 12-23-2004 - 7:10pm |
Hi everyone.
Today is 1 wk of NC. I miss talking to him, the friendship aspect of our relationship. (We're both married with intimacy, passion and romance missing from our relationships). We broke up because of the guilt he feels every time he looks at his 4 yr old daughter after we've been together. I have guilt as well but don't have kids so I guess I'm handling it all a little better. He said "Keep In Touch" but I haven't called him. There were times, especially today that I wanted too, just to wish him a Merry Christmas... But I didn't. I can't. I'm getting on with my life and working on my relationship with my husband. There is hope with H so I'm feeling happy and very positive about that. He has no idea I had an A.
Anyway, I feel like I need validation from xMM. I've been working very hard to lose weight, working out and getting myself into shape and I'm almost to my goal. I'm getting all kinds of compliments from the people I work with, family and my husband. I love it and it keeps me motivated but for some reason I really want to see xMM one more time so he can see how far I've come. I'm down two full sizes in my clothes which is pretty drastic and the last time we saw each other was about 6 wks ago - so I look a lot different.
I should also mention that he was very supportive during this entire process. We always talked about eating healthy and exercise and I found it to be so helpful. Now I don't have that support anymore since we haven't spoken since last Thursday.
Why do I need him to know/see what I've accomplished?

Jazzdiva