Why married people cheat...
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|Mon, 04-21-2003 - 9:17am|
There are many different types of people ofcourse and thus many different reasons, but for myself and many it went like this...
First there is the factor of not getting your needs met in the marriage. Second there is the factor of being willing to cheat. Third, someone to cheat with. One of these may be very strong, the others weaker, but they have to add up enough for you to be willing to do it right? I would have to say I had a big need for emotional connection. With two little children I don't see my friends like I used to and my husband isn't really the 'talking' type, so I felt very lonely. I never saw myself cheating - maybe I could picture a stolen kiss, but NEVER would I have believed I would have had sex with another man, especially my neighbour. But I guess under the right conditions I did have it in me. The right conditions as it turned out was a close friend who persued me relentlessly with an amazing amount of patience and persistence.
I don't think I'll ever come across another man who would put the effort in to chasing me like he did, but I still don't have my needs met in my marriage - in fact it feels worse than ever, so I know I'm still very vulnerable. I'm also going to church and trying to reinforce my values that cheating is wrong that is helping too.
As I said though, those are the three factors as I see them. A man could have a happy marriage, but have 0 regard for being faithful, have a job where he meets many women and bingo. Or an unhappy marriage, wants to be faithful, but runs into a lost love - and just can't resist being with her.