Why is this necessary??
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| Thu, 06-30-2005 - 10:05pm |
Why is it necessary for XMM to call me to just "check on me"? I took a couple of days off work a while back and went on a trip with my best friend. (He was not aware of this trip). One of the days I was off, he called my work and must have asked where I was and my replacement told him that I had gone on vacation to *****. She was by no means aware of what he was doing or who he was. She paid no attention to his asking. Well the day after my return, he called again under another number which I knew of and played it off like a "regular customer". When he called again a couple days later he asked me about my trip, told me he called and what the "girl on the phone" told him and asked if I had a good time. He kinda acted like he was needing to know to keep tabs on me, and said he was just "checking on me". I told him, I had a great time and I'm fine and living my life.
I had told him before the trip time even came up that I was getting on with my life, and moving on, and that I wasn't gonna do the affair thing anymore. WE just needed to get on with our own lives. End of story. Why does he keep coming back??
Do you ever think that these XMM are so insecure and that they want to hang onto a false hope that maybe "one day" they can have us in their life for good or is it just a control thing, always calling and keeping communication open to keep us hanging on a thread? My thread has broken, and I want him to LET GO. (It would make things better for me if he would, and I told him I'm tired of telling him that) Maybe it is getting time to tell on him. I would hate to do that, it would probably cause ALOT of turmoil, but I have to take care of myself and mend my heart and regain my spirit.

>"Why does he keep coming back??"<
It is a means of maintaining POWER in your life and some control....your XMM seems a little nuttier then some.
Free
sunshine,
do not concren yourself with xMM anymore, why is it necessary is of no consequence on u anymore unless u want it to, on the other hand it is not necessary for u to tell him anything anymore, do not give out anymore info no matter how mn=uch xMM knows about your activities, matter of fact, NO CONTACT is the best, in time u will have the feeling of indifference towards xMM and it will finally set u free
my 2 cents only,
take care and it looks like u are doing realy good and heading towards a healthy life, free of lies
max
I would be very firm with him. I would tell him to stop calling you, you don't want to hear from him. You are fine on your own. I might even tell him that if he keeps calling you you might have to call and ask his wife for her assistance in getting him to keep from contacting you. Of course that will get him to stop calling, they definitely don't want the w to know!
Caution: It's easy to talk yourself into thinking that because he can't let go, he misses you, regrets the breakup, secretly loves you or something.
But really, that's not it in most cases. I agree with the previous poster. It seems to me that it is control and power - they just want to keep you on the line.
And I think it's hard for them to give you up, not have something exciting or something to fall back on, maybe. It's sad, really.
S.