Why not learn from others mistakes???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Why not learn from others mistakes???
30
Sat, 11-27-2010 - 7:01pm

Why is it so hard to just accept what others have learned and not make the same mistakes?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 3:45pm
Thanks MC and I'm sorry you are lonely today. It is so hard to break free but each and evey day I'm more grateful that I have made the break. I'm sorry you're in this situation too, but thankful to have other nrwbies to walk through it with. Hugs to you today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 4:19pm

why ask why -

I LOVE that moniker!

I like what you said about being REPULSED by an MM.

2 weeks ago I was out - and a couple of cute guys were standing near us - we started chatting - they were both coming on kind of strong - flirting - and one in particular got UNCOMFORTABLY close. At first, I attributed it to the loud music and needing to talk closely. Then when I stood with them...the music was quieter - the guy was still ALL OVER ME.

I asked the question - are YOU married? The guy that was all over me played it "down" - the other guy nodded & said yes...he's married.

I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO DISGUSTED! I CUT HIM OFF IMMEDIATELY. I backed away - removed his hand from on my shoulder adn said YOURE MARRIED. DONT TOUCH ME. He started givin me the ....Ohhhh that doesnt matter...I RAISED MY VOICE AGAIN - AND SAID...YOURE MARRIED. NO!

I WAS REPULSED and GOT AWAY.

M

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 4:23pm
HI ILE!
I get you too! Especially after talking to you at LENGTH yesterday in private. You're focus is spot on - if it wasn't I wouldnt have been able to talk to you. :)

I understand that you're saying had he not been out there looking for an affair & messing around you'd have not bumped into him, kind of deal. We're in a tough spot because of BOTH people's choices - and you're soooo NEW at NC - that you're still SORTING IT OUT. Which counseling will certainly help (if you've got a good T) you sort the wheat from the chaffe as to what's YOURS and what ISNT.
Much Love,
m
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 8:56pm

I think in most of our cases, we all KNEW when we were doing wrong. We don't need to be beat up over it, or guilt-ed because of our foolish mistakes. We are looking for support in our path to redemption. At least thats my reason for being here.

As time passes we all have those self pity

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 10:50pm

Yo. BD.

I REALLY felt a warmness in my heart when I read of your beautiful

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 11:15pm

Maybe I can play ref here....Maybe I should mind my business? Aww fluck it, I started typing so I am in. Why is spot on with just about all she said, I have read her posts for a while, does not sound like her, she is normally not so...hmmmmm.....do not know the word I am looking for. Let's just say she may have come at ya kinda strong.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 11:33pm

Thanks for weighing in Luvin!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 12:54am

luvin that was damn brilliant!

i-l-e

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 1:09am

Hi ILE

Big hugs to you, BELIEVE ME I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL, I'm in Day 7 of NC too, and feel i was also pursued and convinced to be in the A. EMM got a whiff of my insecurities and vulnerabilities and hook, line and sinker he got me. He knew what to say, what to do, and the results they would bring. No one put a gun to my head, but i guess no one put a gun to a first time drug user's head either.

When we were in the A, we were totally consumed by it, i read somewhere that people in As should not even be allowed to drive, because our thinking is so illogical we aren't capable of making any decisions. In addition, A's are not something we could openly discuss with anyone, so we could never really analyse any of it, whilst we were in it. As Iddy wrote to me in her first post 'we are not bad people, we made a bad choice', and now we are trying to rectify this bad choice, this mistake that we made. Human beings are not perfect we make mistakes and we try to learn from them.

ILE keep reading and involving yourself in this forum, it really helps. WE CAN DO THIS hun. xxxooo

(((((HUGS)))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 7:18pm

HI ILE,

I very much understand where you are coming from and agree with our lovely bus driver that we all know we screwed up, we are here to push each other to NC, to support and sometimes yes, to slap each other upside the head but know it is usually done in love.

Just wanted to know I hear you and know that exact feeling.

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