Why saying he's sorry doesn't matter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Why saying he's sorry doesn't matter.
13
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 11:42am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 11:49am

I don't think it means a thing....he isn't really sorry for putting YOU in the situation..he is sorry for putting HIMSELF in the situation. Plus, he doesn't want to completely tick you off if W thing doesn't work out. He already has somewhere to run - he thinks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 12:50pm

He is saying that he is sorry because he doesn't want to totally cut the line off that links to you, I think. He hopes to win you back one day. I am glad you feel anger at this pathetic fishing attempt.

Htgo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 1:20pm

Hi Butter,


The title of your thread hit a chord for me....funny how 'sorry' is spewed by them all.


When I screwed up the other day (feel free to read the thread for details), ex-MM was standing at the door getting ready to leave and he muttered 'I'm sorry' out of the blue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 5:02pm
I said "Good-bye" to xAP 10 days ago. It was the last word I e-mailed him. He e-mailed back some other stuff and at the end "I am sorry". If I had a dollar for every time he said it :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 5:49pm

I may get some serious backlash for this response but I feel the need to respond regardless. This is not intended to offend anyone.


My XMM has never told me he was sorry for involving me in this A and I don't ever expect him to.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 7:23pm

I like what you wrote, Kristin.
I'm feeling the same way. Part of getting over this A is for me to understand my part in it, and let go of needing to understand HIS part in it. Forgiving any of his transgressions against me, real or perceived, is my gift to myself, not really to him.

There is a whole lot of FREEDOM that comes from being unsusceptible to endless fine tuning, shading and otherwise amending of my vision of the A, and to stop feeding the Addiction Beast by neurotically obsessing about dead horses I’d like to beat with my xAP. I just really don't have the time or energy to focus on HIM when I have so much work to do on myself.

Let's all focus on where it's really deserved. ourselves and our families - and not on a specter from the past.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 11:03pm

Thank you Dee. I thought it might have sounded a bit harsh. My point was that we all made a choice (albeit a not so great one) and we need to hold ourselves accountable. I can't speak for anyone else but I find it empowering to take responsibility for my actions. In a way it seems as if when

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 11:08pm

Excellent post, Kristin


The bottomline to why we are


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 1:02am

Clarity,


Thank you very much.


Hugs,


Kristin

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 1:15am
You're welcome :)

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