Why torture ourselves by seeking out OM
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| Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:56pm |
Hi All -
Decided to start a new thread because the one we were on had over 55 posts.
This is about NC. I am on day 4 (weekend was 2 days--easier than being at work with OM). The last contact I made with him was an email last Thursday and a phone call last friday. No response to either which to me is a message that he doesn't want interaction with me. Yesterday, I was so good. I didnt walk by his office and didnt seek him out. But the thing
is, I know i am practicing NC but I think I want him to know I am doing NC, I guess trying to show I don't care (which obviously any would say is that I do still care). So I did a stupid thing. I saw him walking outside from my window office towards the building. I grabbed my jacket, ran to the elevator, got downstairs. He was talking to a colleague and I guess if things were normal I would have stood by them. I said hi kinda softly with my head down, and then walked to a bench a bit over and smoked a cigarette while listening to him talk. When I finished, I was tempted to continue sitting until the colleague left and see if he would approach me. Well, at least, I had the courage to get up when my smoke was done and walk back inside. I didn't acknowledge him on my way back in.
So this is the thing, why do I torture myself by seeking him out. I felt good yesterday and felt good this morning, but the moment I saw him, I moved without thinking and sought him out.....this is driving me crazy!!!

hi SP,
it just instinct maybe, but now u know it stinks ( no pun intended), i do have the tendency to seek her out, i can smell her perfume too, this is sick
anyways, im eating lunch by myself and logging into the board, this is more productive to me than thinking of her, i feel so upset still, i want to be vindictive but i know it is not the right thing to do, the best i can do is wish her luck and happiness and not bother her anymore .... that is my ultimate goal
u take care
max
ps u are not crazy, i do the same thing all the time before when we break up so many time, its just gonna make it worst
haaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!1 , its very tiring , i know , but hang in there, it will get better soon ihope