Why won't they leave me alone??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Why won't they leave me alone??
11
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 9:07pm

Hello,

Recap, I been in NC since Dec 9th 2009. The last time I talked to his wife was Jan 15th, basically to tell her to keep her husband away from me because he would call me blocked but I wouldn't answer.

I have moved on with my life - yes, there is pain and sadness, there are moments when I think of him... I am dating, going to school, working, moving along... then Saturday night I receive a blocked call at midnight (the usual time for him), then last night I get a blocked call at 3am.

Then today afternoon, I log on to myspace and there is an e-mail from his wife asking me if he's contacted me because their counsellor think's he's hiding something and the counsellor suggested she talk to me. (BS I think)

I don't know whether to respond or not. I mean...she was nice to me BUT I remember a time when they both trashed me on myspace' status' updates. And I don't know...on their myspace I checked out today, they seem "oh so in love" and I'm like what do I do??? Ignore her e-mail? Respond? I'm still affraid she might get me fired.

Why WON'T he leave me alone after 4 months of NC??? After numerous attempts of calling me and ME refusing to answer and ME refusing to talk to him...does he not get the picture???

NC since Dec. 9th 2009


No Contact = No New Hurts


Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 10:03pm

Lost,

You know the answer to this....but since you are asking what you already know the answer to, I will tell you. DO NOT RESPOND. Keep it moving, I have had vast fishing attempts, they really hindered my growth and I was in contact even tho I had not broken contact. Now his fishing attempts are starting to roll off my back.

Who cares if she is emailing you? Block her from myspace or better yet, close that darn account. Enough of them. N if she was going to try to get your fired, she would have done so already. Let it go , ignore the blocked calls. Or change your number...but do not take any steps back, Ignore it all and keep it moving like you say you have. Read your signature Lost....its all about silence....anything else is a a step backwards. But you know all this. I hope my reminder helped.

Happy to see ya post again, your fellow tweener from back in tha day,

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 10:07pm

Block & walk my EAS sister - block & walk.

Otherwise:

DO NOT RESPOND.

Get off MSN

Change your home #.

Keep fighting the good fight,

love,

TU

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 10:18pm

Thanks all! That is what i want to do is ignore.

BUT... do I not owe it to her to be honest and tell her that her husband is calling me?

And you're right, she could have fired me by now if she wanted to... I just don't want to get on her bad side.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009


No Contact = No New Hurts


Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 10:30pm

Lost,

This is where you get a lil bull headed momma. Its like you just feel the need to do things you just should not do. U know you should not do them, we tell you that you should not and yet you come up with a but. NO BUT's. You do not owe his wife $hit. Not a thing. STOP. Let them go about their dysfunction. She knows what she is dealing with. She has been dealing with it for years. Unless for sum reason you want her to know he is still trying to reach you for some reason? Maybe make her think you meant more to him than he let on? I am just wondering.
Remember you and I were stalkers, we were crazy etc....it would be nice to prove otherwise wouldn't it?
Almost sweet revenge? Sounds good huh?

To engage in that thinking is just plain dumb....I am realizing that after I have had so many fishing attempts. Telling her would do NO GOOD. She aint going nowhere. All it would do is stir things up in everyone, including YOU. Now we can not have that, can we? Let it all go....you have come to far to take steps back...

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 11:14pm

Hi Lost,


Luvin and TU's words have a lot of wisdom in it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 1:34am

Hi ILost,


First of all congrats. on your four months NC that is super big stuff around these parts. Second, I missed your Tweener wing ceremony so belated congrats! Now that I’m all caught up on all the props let’s get down to your post. You’ve learned so much and come so far therefore; they cannot fool you with their same old tricks to suck you back into all their dysfunction.


How has it gone in the past? She gets info from you to confront him. He lies and then kisses her butt. She takes him back and then you get hurt because you feel used by both of them.


Why should this time be any different? Why get involved? The outcome will not change! You have shared information with her that is far more damaging than a few random blocked calls to your cell. You have given her all the information though several contacts.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 8:58am

You are doing so good. Woo hooo.


They are trying to pull you into their drama. Don't respond and please stop yourself from looking at their MySpace page.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 3:58pm

Like the others have said, you totally

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 8:48pm

Thank you ladies!! You guys have been my rock thru all this and all your advice in the past and present has worked! So I will take what you say and not respond.

I have been doing really well by not checking out their myspace' or facebook pages. It IS so much better when its' "out of sight, out of mind"... in the beginning (the first month of NC), I would torture myself by looking at their pages...but once I stopped, I realized that I feel better.

And you're right, he is her problem now, not mine. I have not talked to him since Dec. 9th 2009! I don't plan on talking to him again. He's attempted to call me - but the ironic part is in the beginning when I'd answer, he would not say anything on the other end of the phone! How weird?? I wised up and just stopped answering. I even threaten to get a restraining order and that's what made him stop contacting me for 2 months...guess he's back at it again. Although not as frequent.

I guess my post is an example of how desperate these xMM are and to what lengths they will go to hold you by their side! Even when you think you're out of the dark, and even AFTER a DDAY, they still have a way of finding you.

Stay strong! I am so much happier NOW then I was the 2 years with him.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009


No Contact = No New Hurts


Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 5:14pm

I thought of this: I am so thankful to have you ladies here for me! I am going to take that 48 hours rule and consider it from now on. ;) I waited 48 hrs and I realize that not responding was the right choice.

For one, why should I put myself in the situation to communicate with them, to reopen old wounds? The only thing she wants from is to hurt me more. IF I did tell her he's been contacting me, she would confront him and he would start calling me names again and lying about me. This would only hurt me again. Why would I want to have him call me a liar again?

But like another poster said, after everything I told her in December and she is still with him and still continues to believe him... then me telling her he's still calling me is not going to change anything.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009


No Contact = No New Hurts


Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.



Remember: Out of sight, out of mind.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

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