Will not cyber stalk, will not cyber stalk ...
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Will not cyber stalk, will not cyber stalk ...
| Wed, 12-15-2010 - 7:28am |
Started to go there this morning. Took one look at his picture and said "NO MORE" to myself and closed the page. Now I have to scrub the image from my brain. Again. Ugh.
I will get past this, I will get past this, I will get past this. I have to search deeper to figure out why I am so hung up. What am I hanging on to? Why am I being so resistant to letting go at this phase? I am embarassed and disappointed at my lack of progress. I seem to be in "stuck" mode. I know it is my fault.

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((((((((Always))))))
I hear you woman!!! and I am here for you!!! HOWEVER I can help.
WHAT IS IT?!?!?
WE are hitting this _____________ at exactly the same time.
I like how youre thinking and laying it out...cuz Im really IDENTIFYING BIG TIME!
I dont have answers. Im looking for them myself.
But I do have LOVE, EMPATHY, UNDERSTANDING AND CARE for you - :)
I believe in you - I admire you.
((((((Always)))))
You HAVE progressed, in leaps and bounds, please don't be so hard on yourself.
I am no expert here, being a newbie and all, but i really feel that we may be hanging onto the fantasy that we created in our heads, and i say WE because
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Always,
Chica?! Que te Pasa? Tell me what's good. I am still should ya need me...ok, you know my stance on cyberstalking....but for the new newbies...it's like putting your hand on rights on hot coals....know how your body feels the burn and jerks but hesitates for a second, that pause or reaction is the time you look at that photo of whatever...u look at it and its like a knife thru the heart....just sucks...you examine it from top to bottom, looking for a hint of anything...
I know why you do it. I was once on your shoes and did my fair share of it on my early ending days. If it makes you all feel a bit better, even as a vet, I am sometimes curious what ever happened to the MM that was a gifted liar and sociopath...but I could care less about checking him out online....and when I do think of him, it's utter relief that I got away. I did it. In the end, I won. He lost me. I gained my life back. He is still lost and looking for his next victim. He and I were toxic, I am whole and happy. Life went on. So chin up ladies. If you knew my story and Always does, and you knew the utter hellish A and hellish ending I had, you will know that you can do this! I pray that this time next year, we will be Vets! I am lonely here in vetville...Clarity is in and out the compound, E-1 is on leave. Iddy is around, but me and Dee been consumed by real life....TU will join us soon, then Bodhi, and a few others....we need some assistance!! So let go of the FB BS, even if it means you don't log into your own account....we did have lives before FB, it's ok to put it on hold for a while...blessing to all!
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Always,
it takes a long freakin time to let go of our 'dreams' is all i know....i held on so very long to my 'dream' of him
And let me remind everyone that cyberstalking IS contact.
Melinda,
You are so amazing. It blows my mind to think you went 18 months NC without the aid of EAS but as you readily admit, it wasn't until you came here that you truly started healing and growing. If I haven't said it before, I want you to know how much I love your posts. I can relate to so much you say and love the way you say it.
xoxo
(((Luvin)))
Did you know that I
Wlwayst,
How are you feeling today?
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