Wish everyday was like today!
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Wish everyday was like today!
| Sat, 09-25-2004 - 9:02pm |
Today was my DD's birthday. We had a party with family and friends. I was lik MM who?? I didn't even pay him one thought! It was so nice!! Wish it would last but thus it won't. But at least I know I can live a life and he not enter in every area of it.
Just needed to share

YAYAY! Oh wow, sweetie!
You really know you are headed in the right direction when you first notice that you hadn't thought of exOM in x-minutes or y-hours or even z-days!
It's proof positive, too, that when we fill our hours, thoughts of exOM have little chance of getting through.
And yeppers, you're quite right there will be some triggers and minor troublesome moments here & there, but just keep focussed, hon.
You're an inspriation to those who are following in your footsteps, sweetie. Thanks for sharing.
And Happy Birthday to DD!!
Know we're here when you need us (and even when ya don't!).
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie
You are giving me WAY too much credit. All I have to do now is have my friends and family move in celebrate my DD's birthday forever! LOL My biggest problem is that it bothers me still MM won't contact me but yet I still wait. I mean I don't care what he has to say but I care that I am watcing this all fade away. I know it has to but I hate that he makes it seem easy. I can't wait for the day when I check email and I don't care he hasn't sent me one. Or when there is one weekday night that I am not wondering if he will try to call on his way home. When that happens i will be free.
Thanks Posie for your support!
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No I'm not! Acknowledge the step for what it was, it was an important one. I can even tell you the name of the television programme I was watching when I realised I hadn't thought of exOM for the duration of the entire programme. Celebrate it, acknowledge you are reclaiming yourself and your time. Just keep facing that direction and keep your arse pointed at exMM and you'll have no option but to keep up the forward momentum.
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Nah, it's actually much easier than that - just fill your time with your family and friends and keep occupied with other activities in order that you haven't got time to be sweating over emails or lack thereof whilst sat at the pute or standing over the phone willing it to ring.
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My biggest problem is that exOM DOES still attempt to contact me. This indicates he is still thinking about himself and what he wants and needs rather than whatever it is that I might want or need - selfish, but then that's what EMA's are. Count your blessings that MM cares enough about what you want & need to put that before his own selfish wants.
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What is it exactly that is fading away, Bria?
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You have absolute control over your own actions. If you sit in front of the pute scanning every few minutes for emails, you will make yourself nuts over whether or not you receive one and consequently dwell on the past. If you ensure you aren't away from the phone on the off chance he might phone one weeknight, then you will make yourself just as nuts about whether or not he does phone. On the other hand, if you changed your email account name and blocked his phone number from your phone YOU take control and make the active decision to move forward rather than remaining in the past. If you have nothing to say, as you stated above, then what is stopping you from ensuring there is no possibility of contact?
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You are as free as you want to be right now, Bria.
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie
I also don't post on the web site to which we both belong. Right after it ended, we both did...he a little, me a lot...and I've decided just to not be there any more. Why give him any insight into how I am doing? I know he was reading my posts b/c the one time I broke NC he mentioned something I'd said there. Not any more...
I am miffed in a way that he hasn't tried to contact me...makes it seem like he's brushing me off without a thought...but its so much better this way. Why drag it out when we have no future together? I know my life is TONS more positive than his right now...he's poor, his W knows he cheated and is no doubt giving him absolute hell over it...and he was dragging me down emotionally and mentally. I do miss him...but I am so much better off without him. I am focusing on that to help my healing.
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Nope, doesn't sound silly at all. It sounds as though you made a choice to ensure you cannot be tempted into backsliding by taking a call on your cell phone.
It's also incredibly liberating to seize back or simply reclaim that bit of power we'd given away.
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That's vanity me dear. Believe me, at one stage or other, we ALL wish to be irreplaceable and secretly want them to pine away refusing all food or drink so that in their misery they simply dry up & blow away - perhaps one day the crumpled dried up husk of their remains will be discovered clutching a note declaring their undying love for us and the reason for their sad demise was knowing they'd never have us in their lives... An entertaining thought sometimes, but to be honest it seldom happens.
<<<...makes it seem like he's brushing me off without a thought...>>>
You can be quite certain that since DW is aware of the EMA, you will feature highly in many of their conversations for quite some time to come. Anyway, if memory serves, exOM left you with a rather expensive parting gift of a dented dashboard. Do you really want someone with proclivities for violence to be thinking much about you at all?
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Yup-yup.
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Good stuff, you are the only one you need to be focussing on since your actions are the only actions over which you have any control whatsoever.
<<<...he's poor, his W knows he cheated and is no doubt giving him absolute hell over it...>>>
Neither wealth nor poverty has much to do with how rich our lives are. And this may well be an opportunity for both of you to work on any existing problems in your respective marriages.
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Ah, you were equal partners, Dallastrigirl, so it can also be said that you dragged him down emotionally & mentally as well as dragging each other down. It's hard to see ourselves as willing, active participants when it's easier to think of ourselves as victims.
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Yep-yep. Can't say fairer than that.
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie