The witch fesses up....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
The witch fesses up....
5
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 8:41pm

I told you all about getting caught...(I got caught) Well xbf calls today and leaves me a voice mail telling me that he needs to talk to me..has a plan! I had decided to cut all ties, but was curious as to what his "Plan" was...I call him! I know..ME BAD!! He goes into the fact the his GF wants to call H and tell him she lied about alot for things she said and she made it all up..blaaablaaaaablaaaaaaaaa...I tell him NO...no more phone calls from her. If she has something to say, she can email it and put her phone number on it and if H decides to talk to her he will call her..
XBF and I go through would of, should of, and could of's...decided that we both needed to end this the day he met her...but he lied to me and didn't tell me about her for 3 mos...WE agreed to blame each other and quit blaming ourselves and move on...I again stress that I want NO contact. He agrees to accept this. He took the Witch back after all she did...that goes to show you how much I meant to him..NOT!!
I sent him an email telling him we are cutting all ties even though I still felt he was my soul mate and I told him I loved him, but this was for the best....Here is my final email from him...
"The only thing I can say is to agree with you. Too much has happened and
this is much bigger than you and I. Your sorry, Im sorry. I hope the best
for you. Yes you do have a good life. Two great kids,and a career that seems
to be on the rise. I hope things work out the way you want them. I wish
happiness and good health to you and your family. I could say more, but it
would be pointless now. Your a good - decent person. Dont ever change."

Jeff

I am sad...very, very sad, but it is the right thing to do!! I know I will have hard days, but I will move forward!!!

Chris    <?xml:na

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 6:27am

~Fly~


Look, we all know that you are hurting or you wouldn's be here, like the rest of us. The thing is, I have a real problem with one woman calling another one, "witch." It seems to me, whether you were aware of her existence or not, she is pretty much hurting as much as you are, if not more. Your XOM is a real cad, and through his selfisness, he threw both of you into the boxing ring to punch it out. She may have thrown a nasty 1-2 punch that blindsided you, but you were a willing participant when you came between them. From your earlier post you wrote:


<<>>


You husband sounds like a good man. Here is this person that "trusts" you after what you did behind his back. So tell me, what 5 - letter word would you call yourself? You need to forgive her for fighting for her man. You know you would have done the same thing if some woman was after yours. Place the blame on the parties that deserve it, you and XOM. You have both made a serious error in judgement (as have we all) and until you can hold yourself accountable for your actions, you will not be able to move forward. I know, BTDT. It took me 6 months to forgive myself, and I have no BS to deal with.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 10:13am

Fly

>"NO MAN IS WORTH HURTING YOUSELF!!!!! Don't even give him the satisfaction of that! Hang in there...No contact...no contact...NO CONTACT!"<

This is some fine advice you gave Tinygrrl, time to put into practice eh.

Also FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on your husband and family, work to rebuild the deep connections with hubby that have been damaged or lost due to your decisions and actions.

Your very lucky that your husband is giving you a second chance MOST DON'T so you need to get in the ball game and start pitching to make it work.

free

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 11:00am

well...you are married right? You focus a lot on what his committment is with his gf when you have a husband.

As far as her calling your husband and telling him it was all lies. WEll, that was to make her b/f happier about what she'd done. Stupid pointless move on everyone's fault. There would be no "good" reason for her to lie in the first place..so there is no motivation that could explain that. Witch or not, he is with her and you have a husband.

He can break up with her (unless they have kids together). You are still married. If you and your OM stay in this relationship....whats next? The Focus on what you are doing shifts to you?
exactly,
Lizzie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 7:13pm
I so do place blame myself. Probably more than I should. I did talk to her and told her that being upset with me over this whole thing was something she needed to rethink and place the blame where it needed to be placed...On her BF...They have been together 5 mos....i have 20 years...Yes I chose the wrong path, but i decided to make it right. She needs to do the same. She was being downright nasty when she called my house after I told her I was done! I think my calling her a witch is a knee jerk raction to her...There are many things about her that were not right. I agree...if I were in her shoes, I would have been nasty as well, but I am not the type to ruin an entire family to get my 10 seconds of glory.
I figured this was a posting place to get out all of our feelings and not be judged by others. Do you really think that I cared what she was feeling after she called my H?? If you do...you are wrong.

Chris    <?xml:na

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 7:16pm
I completly agree with you and am doing what I say! I am extremely lucky my H is the man he is...Maybe I needed this to kick me in the ass and let me realize this! Everything happens for a reason and my life is back on track because of my choices as well as my H.

Chris    <?xml:na