words hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
words hurt
6
Sun, 10-21-2012 - 10:23pm

I thought I had taken all the steps to prevent any contact.  He found a way around that in the form of anonymous text messages.  I didn't even know you could do that.  Wow.  His words were horrible and hurtful and have left me shaken.  I immediately blocked all anonymous calls and texts.  He is angry and wants to hurt me in the only way he can. 

I know I am not any of the things that he said.  This has so sad, but I also know that staying far away from him is the best thing for me.  Words really do hurt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2012
In reply to: blondehigh
Sun, 10-21-2012 - 10:36pm

Words can hurt, but don't let them define who you are.  You're a good person and don't deserve this.  He is just being selfish and trying to get a response from you anyway he can.  Good for you for blocking .  

Avatar for worthmore
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2012
In reply to: blondehigh
Sun, 10-21-2012 - 11:19pm
Hi, BH. I tried to go back and refresh my memory about your story but unfortunately it's not retrievable just now. But no matter. Your story won't change the wrong-ness of your current situation. Blocking anonymous texts might need to be part of the tech support for blocking thread (assuming that's still there). I often wonder what makes people lash out when it would cost them less to walk away. It's always completely about them and not about you. But it gives you a good insight into the person you were involved with, doesn't it. Not a person to be remembered fondly or thought of wistfully. But take his anger seriously. Don't be fooled. Have a plan to stay safe.
Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
In reply to: happyasme
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 1:44pm

The blocking thread is still there, but the body of the post is gone Frown.  

For those whose xAPs are "creative" fishers, blocking annonymous texts, IMs, calls may be a good idea.  

Get call display and ignore all calls from unknown or unfamiliar numbers

I know I can block all SMS texts from people not in my contacts on my blackberry (Options - Security Options - FireWall)  Enable firewall and click the except from contacts box.

On yahoo msg and google chat you can ignore all chats from people not in your contacts

In facebook, you can set it to receive messages only from friends.

That's my 2 cents on blocking tech support

Blonde, Words do hurt, but don't let them get under your skin.  He's just pushing some buttons hoping to get a reaction from you as in "No I am not a _______ I'm really _________"  I know the temptation is there, we don't want anyone one to think we are "bad" for X, Y, Z reasons... but what he thinks doesn't matter, because he is no longer in your life.  

His words do not define you.  He does not define you.  You define you.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: blondehigh
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 3:03pm

Dang..I have to learn to look down for new threads.

I'm sorry he's working so hard to get through just to be mean.  Like WM said, it gives you more insight of what his character was all about.

His words can only hurt you if you allow them to.  You know who you are...and no one can tell you any differently.

Can you get rid of that phone?  Any excuse can and will do...fell in the toilet, slipped out of your pocket...and landed somewhere...who knows where, the dog pee'd on it, some company was constantly haranging you or trying to scam you.

((hugs))

Clarity 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
In reply to: blondehigh
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 10:01pm

Thank you all, as always, for the words of support and helpful suggestions.  I've used the tech support ideas and feel like I am safe.  I know he is trying to provoke a response from me and I will not let that happen.  I've gotten rid of everything... all emails, texts, pictures, anything related to him and that time in my life.  The only thing I have saved is that last anonymous text.  I will use it to remind me what kind of man he really is and what he will resort to.  When I don't need that any longer, it will be gone. 

I feel clean with all of it gone.  13 years is a long time but letting go is getting easier.  I will not let him destroy me as he has so many other women in his life. 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 12:41pm

Good for you, blondehigh...good for you.  It's all about protecting yourself now from further hurt.

((hugs))

Clarity