WTF ???
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WTF ???
| Sat, 04-09-2011 - 2:42am |
As most of you know....
I had a 15mo affair that finished 9 months ago,
| Sat, 04-09-2011 - 2:42am |
As most of you know....
I had a 15mo affair that finished 9 months ago,
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Dear One,
Absolutely, positively all that TU said.
((NC))
First off, I am so sorry you are going through this. You've been offered some great advice, but the final decision *needs* to based on what is best for your children.
Hello sweet girl- Ive missed ya :)
You know how I feel about this mess. I agree with everything that has been said. You were wrong (we all were), you have apologised and recommitted to your marriage 100 times and more, you have grovelled, and done whatever you can do. But he has to work with you here sweetheart. Yes he is pained beyond belief,
Are you in marriage counseling?
NC I am sorry you are hurting.
Hi NC,
Been thinking of you and how well you are doing.
Frankly, I think something is up. Why would he need to distance himself if he's going to ask for a date the day after? Also, the fact that he is insistant about handling the details between you has my skepticism peaked. He's trying a little too hard to
Hi NC,
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Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
I have debated whether or not to respond for several days now. Only in my case, roles are reversed. my xH wanted to try and stay together, and I told him I needed to close this chapter of my life. We were married 20 years. Even today I love that man like crazy, and would take him back and remarry him IF he were to get serious and change some things. You know things that NEVER worked, things I let go for 20 years, and sometimes even apologized for.
xH didn't understand it either, but for me, going through IC - I realized that both of us needed to either REALLY be serious about wanting to be married (and therefore having to re-date, and get to know each other again) OR my worst fears would be confirmed, that I was just the first young girl that said yes when he proposed.
xH moved across the US to CA - and we are in GA. What I realized was - that my worst fears weren't as scary as I thought they'd be. And being able to close that chapter of my life and with it the drama, the mood swings, the blame, the sin - closing the door on all of it gives me a new lease to be a better woman, mother, daughter and believe it or not, friend to the xH. Deep down I still hold hope that he too will seek counseling and perhaps WANT to work HARD and come back - but I'm not holding my breath. For now I'm just enjoying the peace and routine of life. Recognizing how co-dependent I had become, and had enabled xH to be was shocking. New Life posted an excellent homework assignment on codependency down in the Healing Library that you might see a bit of yourself in - I swore I wasn't - but OH man was I wrong. I do hope you can accept and make changes to find some peace for you too!
Much love,
Hi Sweet NC :) I feel a kinship to you since we came on board together. I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said. I think of you often and am sending you strength and (((hugs)))).
Love, Bodhi
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