WTF ???
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WTF ???
| Sat, 04-09-2011 - 2:42am |
As most of you know....
I had a 15mo affair that finished 9 months ago,
| Sat, 04-09-2011 - 2:42am |
As most of you know....
I had a 15mo affair that finished 9 months ago,
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We have had some LONG discussions and emotional chats this weekend.... there is no doubt in my mind.. he cannot stay away and would have problems making NC stick between us !!
There is no doubt in my mind, nutty as it all seems to those outside my boxing ring, that he is entirely genuine about his logic and reasoning..even if it is JAM logic, they are simple creature sometimes they can only see things in black or white.
I had made a list of all the things needed for a separation and divorce to 'stick' in a court of law and also a list of assets and liabilities as fairly as i coulod and i felt this could be a definate turning point in amicability vs hostility of dividing up $$$$ and he acquienced to all i suggested, the parenting plan, the allocation of property 50/50 i even told him with the children i could push for 60/40, the maintenance.... NONE of that matters to him cos that is not in his equation he only wants to fix the broken contract called a marriage- the contract is void he needs it annulled we stay together cos we want to not cos of a bit of paper
E1 it is heartening to know that there is a couple you are aware of that did go down this route, do u know how long ago etc etc ...did it really work?....
i have spent hours and hours researching, learning, and delving into my core issues, how to avoid repeating such things, believe me all factors come into my thinking, but (and RBM will understand this), history and everything we have experienced, grown up through and built together counts for an awful lot too.
I think ANY married couples after 30years together in some way shape or form HAVE to have some degree of codependancy between them, whether if is healthy or not is another issue i guess. i think this is a wakeup call to H and i that we had got to the stage of taking each other for granted, , i know my vulnerabilities better than i have EVER known before i would like H to keep up our MC. IC and whilst there is no doubt it looks and feels like my life has descended into a soap opera at present.... i think H is still trying to find the best fit for him and us both for solving the issues caused by my selfishness and weakness... If i am committed to stay it is his choice how he finally comes to terms with my actions towards him....He no doubt needs to grow up somewhat, but then so do i
nothing concrete can/will happen for another 6 months either way i guess, we either get a D amicably or he waits 12 months and does it himself.
For now he is defnately genuine and adamant this is his ONLY way to move forward and start to heal, i need to see his anger dissipate and his mood swings decrease if they do we will be on the right track.....even his mum tells him she is not amused and that i have changed and he should not destroy me !!! i am sure i will knnow when or whether to finally walk away.....i still want the fairy tale and so does he...... E1 i know this cos he tells me.....in his lucid moments anyway ;)
watch this space.......
Miss u Bodes..hope you have had a date by now ;)
NCx
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
NCx
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Hey NC,
So sorry to hear all that you are going through.
I can understand your H's need for this.
but you are right...that is exactly his thought process
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
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