WTH???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
WTH???
15
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 4:25pm

I've been on an emotional rollercoaster all day. It started with a ridiculous spat with my H (a misunderstanding in communication, which I jumped on defensively and ended up making an ass of myself--which I HATE. So I called him at work later and apologized. You have no idea how hard that is for me to do). After

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 5:27pm

Hey Alwayst2,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 6:42pm

((((((alwayst2))))))),

Didnt we always run to ex-ap when things got too tough or we didnt want to deal with RL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 6:43pm

[[[[[[alwayst2]]]]]]

I am with you sister.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 6:59pm
Just had to add...I ran across this site a little bit ago and OMG I am laughing so hard. It is like therapy.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/01/those-heirloom-tomatoes-had-sentimental-value/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 7:49pm

Unbreakme,

Sorry for your sadness as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 8:07pm
See girls, we just needed to laugh. ;)

I know always well enough to know her audrey avatar will remove her cigarette in order to proclaim her f*$k yeah in agreement. xoxo
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 8:16pm
Hi Alwayst2,

I am wondering if you feel somewhat like I do, coming to the realization that the changes we are making are for the long haul and there is no one day that says "I have learned all I can, I am good now" instead it's a gradual learning curve that sees those changes in ourselves sticking and the acceptance to keep growing and changing for the better. In these early months i think it's a mixture of excitement and impatience to be who we will be with our growth and I think in these next months and beyond we will put into better practice our new skills and our acceptance of who we are. I am hoping you are enjoying a nice fire with your H and letting the day slide away:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 9:30pm

Ho ALways 2!

I love the great comments made already and so I don't have much left to say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Sat, 01-15-2011 - 3:00am
BIG hugs sweet Always....just chalk it up to one of those crappy days and start anew tomorrow. You are strong and doing well and so glad you didn't break NC. It's good you are recognizing that it's all about you and not him. I know you miss him but it's prob more of a feeling that you miss than him. Happy saturday to you...it will be better!
Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
In reply to: alwayst2
Sat, 01-15-2011 - 3:04am

CAN YOU STAY OUT OF MY MIND?!?!?

wow! i felt the exact same thing today. for a second, I allowed myself to remember that I used to call it love. I broke out in tears - and quickly jumped in the shower to wash them away. but for a micro second...the pain burst through again.

What triggered the hurt? The RL spat with H? Sometimes, when I feel things arent going my way...or I'm feeling vulnerable and hurt by others...I want to rush back (not in action) my feelings-

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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