XAP: fantasy vs. reality

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
XAP: fantasy vs. reality
15
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 11:06pm

Fantasy: Single
Reality: Married

Fantasy: Kind, caring and selfless
Reality: Mean, cold and selfish

Fantasy: Healthy and nurturing
Reality: Unhealthy, toxic and controlling

Fantasy: Always there for me
Reality: Never there for me

Fantasy: Puts me first
Reality: Put me after family, work, golf...

Fantasy: Spends all his time with me
Reality: Squeezed me in, when it suited him

Fantasy: Tells the world about our relationship
Reality: Hidden in the darkness, no one knows

Fantasy: Good looking and fit
Reality: Looks old and tired, gained 40 lbs.

Fantasy: Treats me like a queen
Reality: Treated me horribly

Fantasy: Fulfilling intimate life
Reality: Sex on the floor, when it suited him

Fantasy: Wonderful communication
Reality: No communication

Fantasy: Makes me feel good about life and myself
Reality: Made me feel lower than I've ever felt

Fantasy: We live happily ever after
Reality: Everything I thought I had with XAP was a fantasy.

How I let myself be fooled for so long, I don't know. I guess I can survive a long time on crumbs. My feelings are all over the place, but I'm really glad I'm here. I'm not compromising what I want and deserve ever again.

Bodhi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 1:20am
I will print this and read this over and over... I am having a hard time separating fantasy from reality. I still see him in RL as I do in fantasy and it is killing me. I am not healing as well as I thought. SO thank you Bodhi for this post :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 2:52am

I'm not compromising what I want and deserve ever again. - AGREE.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 7:48am

When the fog lifts, and you start to see the differences then you are starting to heal.


You amaze me at your gains.


We are proud of you.


We can only count on one person in this life of ours and that's ourselves.

We only miss what could have been.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:16am
A big THUMBS UP

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:23am

Livex -

I think separating the fantasy man from the real man is very hard. I got stuck yesterday wanting fantasy man to ride in and save the day. I hope my post helps you too :) Have a strong day.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:26am

Liberty -

<<<>>>

Not really, I just did the 3 or 4 year do-it-yourself-home course before I found EAS! ha :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:31am

Thank you Rather :)

I've written stuff like this to myself before. And then I would always think "why do I want this guy?" I'm proud of you too - 15 weeks is amazing. Have a relaxing fishing trip!

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:33am

Thank you Clarity :) I'm thinking if I want a fantasy, I might as well make him Matt Damon at least...

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:38am

BOHDI......


HE MEANT A FISHING TRIP ...... not hook line and sinkers .... an AP one !!!!

No Cheating, No Compromise, No Contact!


NC since

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:44am
Toooo funny - I guess I was being literal this morning!! :)

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