XAP: fantasy vs. reality

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
XAP: fantasy vs. reality
15
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 11:06pm

Fantasy: Single
Reality: Married

Fantasy: Kind, caring and selfless
Reality: Mean, cold and selfish

Fantasy: Healthy and nurturing
Reality: Unhealthy, toxic and controlling

Fantasy: Always there for me
Reality: Never there for me

Fantasy: Puts me first
Reality: Put me after family, work, golf...

Fantasy: Spends all his time with me
Reality: Squeezed me in, when it suited him

Fantasy: Tells the world about our relationship
Reality: Hidden in the darkness, no one knows

Fantasy: Good looking and fit
Reality: Looks old and tired, gained 40 lbs.

Fantasy: Treats me like a queen
Reality: Treated me horribly

Fantasy: Fulfilling intimate life
Reality: Sex on the floor, when it suited him

Fantasy: Wonderful communication
Reality: No communication

Fantasy: Makes me feel good about life and myself
Reality: Made me feel lower than I've ever felt

Fantasy: We live happily ever after
Reality: Everything I thought I had with XAP was a fantasy.

How I let myself be fooled for so long, I don't know. I guess I can survive a long time on crumbs. My feelings are all over the place, but I'm really glad I'm here. I'm not compromising what I want and deserve ever again.

Bodhi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:55am

Well you made me smile.....

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 10:20am

This list... wow!! So helpful. I am going to print it out too and carry it around. I need this type of stuff, visuals to go to when I start to get lost in my own fantasy land. It was all a fantasy. The more I am thinking about it, the more I am realizing how my xAP toyed with me. He knew exactly what to do to get me into the "needy zone" so I would spend all

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 10:39am

Wising -

It's scary, I could have gone on with more, but I didn't want to bore people. You should make a list for your XAP!

<<>>>

That's awesome - I feel the same way. Keep healing :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 11:13am
HAHA! Love the Matt Damon comment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 12:41pm

Perfect. I can see your fog lifting from here. So proud of you... so so proud.


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/

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