xMM is Driving Me Crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
xMM is Driving Me Crazy
4
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 10:25am
When xMM just broke NC & emailed me. The last emails I had sent him, the first was in response to how starting driving again was going & the other was whether he honestly thought we could be "just friends" after all that had transpired. So, he emails back to the first one - kidding me about is the road safe/what he did this weekend/asking how the job search is going. But completely fails to respond to the second, more recent, one. Why? Is this another power trip for him? I would never act this way to a friend or a former coworker or someone I had been intimately involved with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:34pm
Blue,

Don't know your exact situation, but I had a talk with my xOM the other day regarding "Can we be friends"? For him, being friends is too hard - he is afraid that a friendship will lead us right down the same path (since we were friends and then became more). He said that there were many email or phone messages I sent after we broke up that he wanted to reply to, but it was too hard to go back down that road when he was still healing. Selfish bastard, I know :-)

Anyway, your xMM could be doing something similar. It's easy write about 'nothing' but to have to get into 'something' (an email about something more serious or important) may just be too hard for him right now.

Diva

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:39pm
xMM just wrote another email, responding to the friends thing and he said he can definitely see us as friends, said he was still attracted to me, but said that things in regard to the A aspect of our relationship got out of hand. I personally don't see how we can be friends b/c of the fact that we were intimate for 8 months and I feel by breaking NC that incidentally he originally imposed makes it even more difficult. We were friends for approx 9 months before we got involved, but I don't think I can be friends now. I think I'm just going to let him stew and not respond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 3:25pm
GOOD FOR YOU!!! You know, I had hoped xOM and I could be friends. We only knew each other for about a month when the A started, but he quickly became one of my best friends. The A only lasted 4 months, but I really miss the friendship we had before and during. I realize now that I can't go back. Everytime I see him, or talk to him, it's just too hard. All the old feelings coming rushing back and I know that it would make friendship impossible.

Good luck!

Diva

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 4:48pm
Blue

Way are you bothering to worry about XMM don't you have a marriage to worry about.

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