XMM has left the building

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
XMM has left the building
5
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 8:40pm
XMM's last day in my office was yesterday. He will now be working still for the same department, but in a totally unrelated area to mine and in another building entirely.

This week was very difficult in a way because he continued up till the last day to try and have one last long lunch hour even though I ended it with him over two months ago. I had to verbally spar with him most of the week, telling him no, and that we both had our own lives and just the same old groud I had covered before, but I think I handled it very well. I wasn't even tempted by his offers and suggestions and pleas. It just made me angry to realize how long I had let him get by with that behavior.

We had a going away lunch for him yesterday and there were lots of people around all day talking with him and wishing him good luck, so we didn't have much alone time which was good.

I will miss him in some ways since we have worked together for almost 15 years, but the relief of not having to see him every day will be welcome. I can now truly get on with my own life. I guess this may sound rather cold, but believe me, in all his carrying on this week and the weeks since I ended things, he has not mentioned love or any emotional attachment of that nature, it has been all about what he wanted, the physical satisfaction and fun, and the control he used to enjoy over our A and over me and it feels so wonderful to be free of that.

I have found that I have regained that peace and happiness I thought I may have lost forever since ending the A. I enjoy the small pleasures in life again whereas before, my focus was on XMM and everything about him and about our A. It has had it's painful moments or days, but ending it was the best thing I have done for myself and for my marriage. I now feel I have my marriage back and myself back also.

Thanks to so many of you here for your support and for listening through the past several months. It has been partly your support that has helped me get to the point I am.

For those who are still trying to end it, I promise, it will be worth it. Stay strong, everyone, and thanks again.

IP

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 11:15pm
IP

Free at last Free at last thank God all mighty Free at last.

Make the most of your second chance, many don't get one.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 8:55am
IP~

You are now able to close this chapter in your life and walk freely into the next one. As difficult as this last year has been for you, you pulled through with courage and class.

<<<
tiny matters compared to what lies within us.>>>>

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wishing you love and laughter..

~True~




 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 9:11am

YAY IP!!!!!!!!


That is great news! I don't think it's cold at all to feel relieved that he is gone. I'm still friendly with xOM and would miss him a little if he left, but honestly, I'd be thrilled if he did. It'd be like reclaiming MY workplace! AND I could dress like a bum when I felt like it and not worry about running into him! LOL!


I'm very happy for you. Congratulations, and have

Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 5:51pm
hi there IPrincess--

I am so glad for you! Another obstacle has been removed from your path to peace and happiness. Not seeing him will be a blessing!

Lily--I laughed at your comment about dressing like a bum. One of the times I ran into my XMM this weekend I was definitely dressed down. But it didn't bother me a bit. Maybe seeing me that way will take away some of the "fantasy girl" image he has of me :-)

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:56pm
Thanks to all of you,

Yes, Lily, I had a grin for your remark about dressing like a bum too. Now I can wear my slacks or my longer skirts and comfortable shoes when I want to and not wonder what he is thinking.

Truly though, I have tried to get back to being myself like that over the past few months. If I want to dress really cute I do it for myself or my DH and if I want to be comfortable, I do that too. No more caring what XMM thinks about me. It is a relief.

I did miss him some today. Not romanticly or anything like that, but just because we have worked together so long and just knowing that he is really gone from my office, was kind of weird, but definitely more good than bad.

Of course, he did call to tell me about his new office and general stuff about the new job, but I was polite, but kept the call short.

In general, it was a more stress free day for me than I have had in a long time. AS you said, it's as if I can reclaim my sork place and myself as well.

Thanks again to you all for caring. You all stay strong and we'll all make it through.

IP