XMM - I don't need you anymore

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
XMM - I don't need you anymore
1
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 11:26pm
Today was a tough day for me. My mind was running all over the place and my thoughts of the past 3 years were spinning like wheels in mud. Why I don't know. Still at NC though!! Yeah!!

When I got home from work, and had time to myself, I sat down and compiled a list of all the hurtful things... comments and actions XMM did.(He never physically hurt me). I just kept writing and writing until I stopped and thought. Most of the things I listed.. seemed to be common traits of a cakeman. Example: Having and wanting time with me at his convenience, calling or answering his phone only when he wanted to.. Well I could really go on and on. You know what..... I took a hard look at that list and told myself....I would have NEVER put up with those actions or comments out of my husband. I would have put him in his place right away. Why did I do it with XMM? I know why. I was so caught up in the whirlwind of the affair and all the excitement it had generated for me, I thought I would just overlook it, cause he "cared for me and loved me". Yeah right.. Well they were hurtful things. I have learned from this list and will carry it with me everywhere I go. When I have a moment of weakness and thoughts of him, I'll pull out that list as a reminder of the cakeman I allowed in my life and remind myself that I do not in any way deserve that and I am too good of a person for him.

I ended the list with a note to him....This affair is over..I'm moving on...I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.


Thanks for listening.

TCOM

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 12:00am
TCOM

Sounds like you had that light bulb moment that really means the end of the affair for "YOU"

Congrats, hang tough and show the girls how it is done.

Free