A year ago

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
A year ago
1
Sat, 01-01-2011 - 2:37pm

Inspired by Alwayst2 post... How was January 1, 2009 for you...and what is different this year?

I remember sitting around on NYE all antsy with my cell phone at hand...xap was out of town on a trip to visit his family. My last text to him was "Happy New Year" which he didn't bother to respond - unlike me, he didn't care to walk around with his phone and enjoyed his family time fully. I haven't heard from him till late at night on January 1..Exactly a year ago.

OMG, I am so glad all of this is over. The waiting, the anxiety, the worries, the endless pain, that constant longing for someone who is never fully there for you. Looking back, I think 2010 was the worst year of my life.

2011 is going to be wonderful.

Happy endings, everyone.

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Sat, 01-01-2011 - 6:08pm
Oh GbG, I am so glad that it's all over too. This time last year was the beginning of the worst time in my Life. You're right - it really was the worst time. This time last year was when I could see through the fog enough to KNOW that I needed out, but will still SO overcome with fear that getting away from him was going to be possible. I remember sitting with my T and going over ALL the reasons why I would have to continue seeing him, and as long as I would have to see him, I just couldn't imagine ending the affair and sticking to NC. Well ... it took some time and incredible effort, but I did it. I realized that NOTHING was worth the continued exposure to him - no friend was worth it, no job was worth it, no event was worth it - whatever it took I was going to get myself away from him.

NOW, a year later ... it's over and I haven't had to see him in almost 2 months. He'll show up to places he know that I HAVE to be at, but it's like seeing a stranger. NOTHING about him seems familiar. He's lost his magic. He's just plain & ordinary. JAM.

2011 IS going to be wonderful ... it's what we make of it. Ya - if I have learned anything from my last year it's just that. Life is indeed what you make of it.

Happy Beginnings Everyone.

TU.