Yet another hurdle to jump...

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Yet another hurdle to jump...
14
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 7:11pm

But H and I are remaining strong through it, difficult as it will be.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 7:18pm
Wow. He is being outright mean and malicious. So sorry. I would suggest your H just let it go. Just leave it alone. What does it matter? It just does not. It is over. I realize this is a decision for your H, but if you even address it, it will only give attention to exAP, I surmise that a priest did not suggest that he publicly humiliate you. I really think you should just let it go, move on and heal as best you can.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 7:33pm
Hearts please try and let the shame go, it wont help you or your H in healing. You dont owe anyone a reason or explanation and it seems to me your xap is trying to keep you engaged in his terrible actions he is using at this point. Keep focused on you and your H, your healing wont include xap and by letting him fade to the back ground you will focused on who matters the most and that is you. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time and I know someone will post in who has been in a similiar situation and will be able to give their thoughts on the rebuilding process with a spouse. Big hugs to you Hearts:)

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 7:44pm

I am truly not obsessing over the shame...feeling are fairly raw right now since it has only been one week since D-Day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 7:49pm
Hearts, I am simply appalled by x's behaviour! I can't begin to imagine how awful this must be for you and your H and how fearful you must be of what x might do next.

My thoughts are with you and I am sending you armfuls of strength and courage to help you through the difficult days ahead. You are better than this, and his actions cannot drag you down to his level. Hold your head high and muster every scrap of grace and dignity that you can find within you. One day "this too will pass."

Hugs and smiles and strength

Kat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 8:40pm

Dear Hearts <3,

I cannot comprehend this hurts been giving you and more on your DH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 11:57pm
I find it very difficult to believe his priest told him to do any of this and think he is trying to continue to harm your marriage. Would you go to the police? Maybe a restraining no contact order needs to be put in place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 12:59am

Sounds like your xap is out for revenge.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 12:41pm
My heart goes out to your H. I really hope that you are in T to determine what is going on within you. This has to be very humiliating to your H. I also hope that you are being good to him. You have to implement stronger boundaries with men and work on seeking validation from within.
Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 1:32pm
Myrasfriend,
I have been in T for three years and am and will continue to work on me. I know the problem is within me, that is why I have been honest with myself and with H and am strictly NC. I am being good to my H. I know I should have been even better to him years ago and maybe none of this would have happened. But it did, and it does me no good to dwell on the guilt. So, I will not. I will press forward with hope my journey to healing. Long road, but I am not a quitter.

Hearts <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 3:47pm

I haven't posted on this board in a really long time but did a drive by today and read your post. The first thing that I thought of was that by taking the letters and destroying them your H may have committed an illegal act. Take great care here because it appears that your XOM is out to get you and your H. Perhaps if you have an attorney you should consult with him/her just in case you can't contain OM's actions. I sincerely hope that this all goes away but I wouldn't want to bet on it.

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