YOU are WORTH MORE than this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
YOU are WORTH MORE than this!
4
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 2:20pm

Hi everyone.....

I've been reading a lot of the posts on here, and it saddens me to hear how many of you are in pain today. I know that pain, because I was there for a long time. You are so wrapped up in the mess of the A that you can't see two feet in front of you. Yep, I know that too.

I've been thinking a lot, about my A, the ladies on here, all of our situations..... And I think much of it boils down to self-worth. I know that I have many issues from my past that made me feel that I wasn't worthy of real love, of someone who really cared for me, and I was scared of being abandoned. I know those are some of the reasons I ended up in the A.

So- ladies...... If you are struggling today, let me say this:

I don't know what your past is. I don't know what issues you struggled with as a little girl. I don't know who taught you that you are not worthy.

But let me clear up the confusion right now. YOU ARE WORTHY. Do you hear me???? YOU ARE WORTHY.

I don't know how many of you believe in God, or have some sort of religious faith- but I know and believe that there is a God above who created you, who loves you, and who yearns for you to experience true love through Him and an abundant life free from the bondage that the affair brings.

I hope I haven't offended anyone, that is certainly not my intent- I just wanted to share what I have learned so far, and to pass that message on to you. Maybe it will help someone, I hope......

Love,
Hazel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 4:24pm

Thanks Hazel. I didn't even know I had self-worth issues until my T pointed it out a couple weeks ago. That makes so much sense. And you are right- WE ARE WORTH MORE :)

Jane

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 4:36pm

Hazel and Jane....


I didn't know it either and that I pick men that are unavailable because I don't think I'm worth it....season is changing in more ways than one!


Love you Girls!

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 4:45pm

This is a good post. When we finally realize that we are worthy we will realize that we allowed a MM to make us feel good about ourselves, bad about ourselves and the MM held the key to our self worth. He dictated how we would feel from one day to the next. We did extraordinary things trying to win him over not realizing that we were eating away at our dignity and self worth by depending on someone outside of ourselves to determine our worth. Waiting on that text, not being ALLOWED to text him or pick up the telephone and call him when we needed him. Waiting until the coast was clear or until he took care of his RL. Holding out for that one day he would be able to spend with us. It's pathetic and sick really. I remember when I was "involved" with XMM and my brother was seriously ill. I wanted so bad to call him and talk to him but guess what; I wasn't allowed to call him at home. I could only text him during certain times and sometimes he would text me back but sometimes he couldn't get away from his family. I was robbing his family and robbing my self of my dignity. I will never allow myself to be kept as a secret when I am giving a man the most precious gift I have - my body. The man who gets it will not keep me hidden and I will be able to call him whenever I want.


I am so glad to have a H who has never not answered his cell phone because he was with someone else. It's a good feeling to love yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 4:47pm
hazel, I knew going into my affair I had issues with self esteem and needing validation. It took 3 years of affair garbage and lots of deep down soul searching after I ended the affair to realize who I really was. I now know, I am not the person I was going into that relationship. I have grown and I'm a hundred times stronger.