You guys "Rock!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
You guys "Rock!"
57
Sun, 02-27-2011 - 9:17am

Reading the board this morning was exhilarating. I was so impressed by some of the stuff I read from last night, I've decided to put it in a thread of it's own. I would like to keep this thread current with your help and input. If you read something in a thread that provides an "Aha" moment for you, please copy and paste it as a reply. Good job, fellow Enders!

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 10:53pm
RIGHT ON V888

"I just wanted to quickly add that the reason why we are all challenged with getting our XAPs out of our heads, is because the majority of the A took place right there, yes in our heads"

I would just like to add, that I spent 40 hours a week almost exclusively alone with xAP, and it was STILL lived in my head because I had to work so DARN hard to twist his words to mean something, deny & excuse his behaviors, ignore his lies, pretend he was actually saying something worth listening to ... he was talking, but I was STILL actively constructing what he must REALLY mean, in my head.

TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 11:22pm

TU to beat me to it posting V88 so now, I am re-posting you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 6:54am

Yes i was very familiar with that creative thinking process TU, seeing this in print makes me realise what a powerful and disastrous mindset we were in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 10:16am
Tu,
Well said I could of wrote those exact words that is exactly what I did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 2:02pm

I know Im starting to look like

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 6:42pm

Dee

There was no volume control during the A; that racket was turned up to 11 all day, everyday - it drown out all the other sounds in my life that were competing for my attention.

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 6:48pm

Love this one from Alwayst2

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 7:02pm
Iggy, i was just about to post both Dee's and Always posts on silence, you beat me to it.

V888
xxxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 03-13-2011 - 1:05pm

Excellent advice from Melinda in response to Dee's thread on "Fear of Failure."

<<< But as they say in many a 12 step group it is "progress not perfection".

We can't change everything overnight!

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 4:06am

WU2011.......

There is no such thing as a clean ending. No such thing as closure with an A. The only thing certain is that the only way to heal and save yourself is to go NC and maintain NC. That's one valuable lesson I've learned through and through. He can't hurt me if I don't let him. He can't hurt me if I don't respond to his fishing. He can't hurt me because I won't allow him to do that to me anymore. I won't allow him to make a mockery of me. I won't allow myself to be a door mat anymore. I won't allow myself to settle for crumbs. I won't allow myself to be an option. I won't allow myself to take part in this madness, in this chaos anymore.

I will take each day and make the most of it because nothing in life is promised. I will cherish the moments I have with my family, the ones who really do and did matter all along. I will make it a point to do whatever I can to reconnect with my husband. And I will take the time to heal my wounds. I will begin to love myself again.

You are what you consistently do