You guys "Rock!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
You guys "Rock!"
57
Sun, 02-27-2011 - 9:17am

Reading the board this morning was exhilarating. I was so impressed by some of the stuff I read from last night, I've decided to put it in a thread of it's own. I would like to keep this thread current with your help and input. If you read something in a thread that provides an "Aha" moment for you, please copy and paste it as a reply. Good job, fellow Enders!

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 7:29am

From Lolly

Every single person who has successfully

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 8:44am

Lolly's post needs to go into the HL too under the Wisdom and Insights thread. So, I am off to do that now. Thanks for reposting this, Iggs.

xoxo

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 7:12am

From the Master - IDDY :))

Each time your resist that urge to make contact is taking one more step away from the magnetic pull that has such a strong hold on us. You also start to feel more confident within yourself that you had the strength to resist. We need to find courage at these moments and I heard the following line in a movie this weekend that really resonated with me:

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 5:12am

From TU

(Am I the only one posting to this thread:)

You were two grown adults who colluded together to support each of you to become selfish, self-endulgent, cowardly people who stole from one another - required so little of one another. YES it feels so good to have someone to connect to ... life is relatively easy in an affair! There are no bills to pay, no housecleaning to negotiate, no children battling for attention, no in-laws to contend with ...

Every moment gets to seem like a fun filled adventure because it is draped in secrecy that makes the forbidden fruit the one you seek. Gosh, I was like Mother Teresa in my affair ... always patient, supportive, loving, kind, understanding - I would have been like a stranger to my family ... they were used to a fiery, passionate, stressed out, barely able to sit for a moment woman who was too busy to even sit for a meal! I was willing to play any role that I needed to in my affair to get my ego filled. None of this was conscious at the time ... I just thought this person SO got me, it was so easy & seemingly uncomplicated. It must be love. WRONG!!!!

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 5:41am

From Katniss

(Yep I am)

They don't always fish, but as our resident Boy Scout RatherBeMe will tell you, you have to BE PREPARED. Women here have had xAPs confront them in front of colleagues, wait for them beside their cars, turn up on their front doorstep at home, call from unlisted numbers ... the list goes on. And it's not a compliment or a sign of his undying love. It just means that he's craving another fix of feelgoods and hoping that you still have so little respect for yourself that you'll give him that fix. Getting the goods from you is less effort than finding someone new. And you deserve so much more than that!! (And so do your families.)

So please, be prepared. Have a plan to walk away, have a script to say "I can't talk with you. I need to go", and have the backbone to stay true to your values anytime, anywhere.

And if he doesn't fish, be grateful that he is showing you some respect and allowing you to heal.

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 9:19am

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2011
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 10:53am

from TU:

"The sad thing is, the overall theme is this: Learn to have NO expectations, NO standards, NO bottom-lines, NO boundaries, NO sense of self, NO feelings related to how one should be expected to be treated, NO desire for security, predictability, NO integrity, NO respect for self or others (including our children), NO sense of a future, NO right to even the MOST BASIC elements of a friendship. LEARN TO EXPECT NOTHING BUT RISK EVERYTHING AND YOU'LL BE SET. "


"... instead be grateful for the smallest of signs of "care" - often found in the lamest of texts, the bluntest of emails and the most degrading romp around a hotel room/truck/office floor ... because hey, if they didn't care about "us" why would they risk so much?"

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