Welcome :-) A post like yours always makes me see things clear again. Why I needed to get out of the A! A person tends to forget as time crawls by.
I can relate to all that you're saying... "everything on his terms; at the end being left with nothing because really, it's all about sex." I am not one to give you the most helpful advice, since I am not one of the wonderful vets here, but I am sure they will react to your post.
You are so right about the NC!
Did you already check out the Healing Library? It's on the main page of EAS and you have to scroll down a little to see. It's full of very helpful information.
Ten years really is a long time. My A lasted about a year and a half, and already I had formed an attachment to the xAP that is so hard to break. NC is the way to go.
Honey, you can't make anyone get anything they don't want to get.
<>>
NC is the only thing left for you to do, and it does work. I hope you have been reading the threads here to learn that cutting off all means of communication is the ONLY way to end an A.
As "How-to-get-out" already said, please read the Healing Library located toward the end of the main page, after the section called Married OW/OM Issues. It is packed with what to do, how to do it, what to expect, wisdom and insights, curbing your obsession, etc. All the tools you need are there.
Welcome to our community, and vent/post whenever you feel the need.
Hi Jdm62,
Welcome :-) A post like yours always makes me see things clear again. Why I needed to get out of the A! A person tends to forget as time crawls by.
I can relate to all that you're saying... "everything on his terms; at the end being left with nothing because really, it's all about sex." I am not one to give you the most helpful advice, since I am not one of the wonderful vets here, but I am sure they will react to your post.
You are so right about the NC!
Did you already check out the Healing Library? It's on the main page of EAS and you have to scroll down a little to see. It's full of very helpful information.
Hugs,
HTGO
Hi HTGO:
Thanks so much for your reply.
Hi JDM,
Ten years really is a long time. My A lasted about a year
and a half, and already I had formed an attachment to the xAP
that is so hard to break. NC is the way to go.
I wish I could be of more help :(
Hugs
HTGO
Jdm~
<>
Honey, you can't make anyone get anything they don't want to get.
<>>
NC is the only thing left for you to do, and it does work. I hope you have been reading the threads here to learn that cutting off all means of communication is the ONLY way to end an A.
As "How-to-get-out" already said, please read the Healing Library located toward the end of the main page, after the section called Married OW/OM Issues. It is packed with what to do, how to do it, what to expect, wisdom and insights, curbing your obsession, etc. All the tools you need are there.
Welcome to our community, and vent/post whenever you feel the need.
(((Hugs)))
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~
Jdm,
In your post, this stuck out to me:
'Not even a pic of us together'
To me, that little fact puts SO much into perspective.
Mickey,
Throw those dang things in the trash!
love,
Dee
You don't think I should re-gift them?
Hi J,