YOU THINK YOUR MM IS BAD?!?!?
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YOU THINK YOUR MM IS BAD?!?!?
| Fri, 07-16-2004 - 11:56am |
I have not posted too many times on this board, but the times I have, I have got so much support so I feel I can post again. As a few of you may have read in my previous posts I have REALLY been trying to end a 4 year A with a MM man, I am single, I was not when we started. I was married, 2 kids and this MM chased me for 4 years (we worked together) 4 years the idea of going out with him was a joke, he did not even speak english and I did not even speak spanish so how could we go out? Well long story short, husband started working ALOT, neglecting me alot of problems in the M and this guy was smothering me with compliments, sending me flowers and I am sure you all know the rest. The last 4 years have been EXHAUSTING, so many disappointments, an ugly divorce, holidays alone, birthdays alone, been in the hospital alone, even had to take a cab to get an abortion because he did not want to take me. I could go on and on but I am sure most of you have lived it or you would not be on this board. The ultimate happened last night. I am in the process of moving, ALONE, packing, moving company, everything alone. Think MM is helping at all NOPE. Anyways, last night I fell down the stairs and had the wind knocked out of me, I have never had the wind knocked out of me and it scared me, I was so upset and hurt, so I called MM, of course he did not pick up the phone, I left him a text to call me ASAP it was important. Of course no call. Well it started me thinking, what if I was on the road and had an accident, or a real emergency who would I call. So he calls this morning and I tell him what happened, first he tells me I am a baby, and I am fine. Then I tell him what happened if I got in an accident on the freeway or I had a real emergency. He said call 911, WOW talk about a wake up call. In 4 years, after all the hurt and pain he has put me through, NOTHING opened my eyes like that did. I told him I am so done, I am not doing this anymore, and he said his bulls**T he loves me and all this other cr*p, and I said I am done, I was just NUMB, so he said so you are sure you are finished, I said 100%. He said yeah right. OK. I said I am, I am not playing any games. He said so you will go out with a new man, I said after I move and get settled if a man asks me out and I like him, I am single, I will go out with him. He said fine, I will do the same, I said I dont care, you will always be M and have your side women, I wont be one of them, and he said you are sure I said POSITIVE and He said ok and we hung up. Part of me is so hurt inside that he DOES NOT even comprehend what he has done to me, I am devastated, I loved this man. Another part of me is so glad it is finally over. He even had the nerve to say when I move he will move with me, I said ok, I will do all the work alone and you just walk right in, nice and easy for you, I said you are just saying anything to buy more time to suck me back in. If he was going to leave his wife, in 4 years he would have. I have been such a fool. I am so confused am I sad because we ar over or am I sad for everything I have lost because of this man. All his empty promises. And life goes on as usual for him, just another day, same as yesterday, same as 4 years ago and same as 3 years from now. Sorry I am just so confused. I just want to add, I do not BLAME him, he never held a gun to my head, I went into this on my own, but when I went into this, It was with a totally different man, talk about FALSE ADVERTISING. But I KNOW I am just as much to blame! And, in the time it took to type this post he has already called me asking me to call him, it is important, I know I should not have but I text messaged him if it is really important call 911. That was bad, NOW I HAVE TO DO NC!But it felt grerat!
Edited 7/16/2004 12:55 pm ET ET by fooled2much
Edited 7/16/2004 12:55 pm ET ET by fooled2much

You're probably hurt b/c of the end of the A and of everything he has put you through. No, he will never comprehend or even know of the hurt he has caused you, your pride, your dignity, your self-esteem. He has NO clue. He thinks only of himself and his needs. It's sad but true. Just count yourself lucky that it was only 4 years of your life...there are others where it has gone on for a many of years b4 their "light" comes on and they think to themselves "what the h&ll am i doing?" .
I wish you the best in getting on with your "new" life and hope you can stay strong enuf to keep away from him. You really do deserve better for yourself. Take care....
And I think your e-mail was SO COOL, now enforce no contact at all costs.
What xMM has finally been able to demonstrate to you by his ultimate callousness is that you DO COUNT.
SO, adios, xMM
AND
HELLO WORLD......
Good luck as you move forward......
AN opportunity to have a full life with someone willing to be fully available to you.
Exhilirating feeling, isn't it?
You'll do GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for sharing your determination to have the life you really want.
cl-nre