With your support I think I can do this
Find a Conversation
With your support I think I can do this
| Wed, 01-26-2011 - 8:08pm |
I'm so thankful I found you all here.
| Wed, 01-26-2011 - 8:08pm |
I'm so thankful I found you all here.
Pages
Welcome to Endings and congratulations on your decision to take your life back. Please read and post often. Yes, you can do it...we have so many
I always thought I would have to do this alone, and never imagined that kindness and support might be just a message away :)
Yes, I would love to be more like Katniss Everdeen - "a self-possessed young woman who demonstrates equal parts compassion and fearlessness." As her father always used to say
Welcome to EAS, Katniss!
Welcome to the board,
I can ASSURE you that with time you will gain the perspective you need to re-frame what you have written here today.
You will not see your affair as anything remotely fairytale-ish ... but will instead understand your actions to be nothing more than degrading and self-indulgent. You will come to see your actions as oozing with wrongness .. and the feel goods you got from your affair as nothing more than that which a heroin addict experiences when they shoot up.
And, yes, the crash is comparable too.
There is nothing lovely about affairs. They compromise you. They degrade you.
You will realize in time that you put everyone you loved in harms way for someone who feels so entitled to a little 'something something' on the side that they will try and convince you that it's all okay - even though YOU KNOW in your gut, in YOUR HEART that everything about the affair IS NOT OKAY.
DO YOU THINK you deserve a little something something on the side at the expense of all those who love & trust you?
PLEASE read the DDay thread. You will FEEL the pain that comes from having your affair discovered ... even months after it ends.
YOU will hear of children's lives torn apart, abusive divorce processes and hurt beyond comprehension.
Charming AP?
We are never such things to one another ... no matter how good we treat one another ... those feel good moments are constructed by telling lies and more lies to those who trust us enough to believe us. And if we haven't stolen enough moments away from our families, we then LIVE in our heads in some lala land rather than being present with our children and partners ... MORE stolen time. Lost time. THROWN away time.
WE are their co-conspirators in an 'offense' that would HURT the most innocent people in one anothers' lives.
WE make a not-so-secret pact to break every commitment we made to someone who has NO IDEA. AFFAIRS require us to ask this of one another ... to ask someone we "care" about to become a cheater and a manipulator to ensure our little charade continues.
I REALLY REALLY hope that you stay here ... that you read, and that you are ready to GET REALLY REAL.
IN return, you'll get your life back ... and with hard work and a crap load of self-reflection, your life can be better than you ever imagined.
Be proud, lift your head high ... YOU are about regain your dignity and self-respect ... with a lot of effort and a lot of courage. AND you won't do it alone ... we have all been exactly where you are standing right now.
TU.
Hi Katniss,
I am so happy that you found EAS too.
Some of your words brought tears to my eyes, some filled me with hope, and some weren't easy to read (yet). But most of all, it's good to know that I'm not alone.
Anyway, I appreciate the hugs and the words of support.
Your doing it ... one moment at a time.
Stay here ... we will walk with you the whole journey.
And crap, I am a frumpy & tired mother of 3 too - so I SOOOOO get it (:
TU.
P.S.
Keep going! Keep going! And congrats on findally putting a stop to it. It might be tough at first these first few weeks but you wouldn't believe what NC will do for you. You will suddenly have clarity like never before.
Pages