Your thoughts, please

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Your thoughts, please
1
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 8:38pm

I mostly read other peoples postings here, and have only posted 1 time about how I thought that XMM had/has an emotional attachment to me. We still communicate every now and then. Him, it seems just can't let go. It's terribly hard for me too but I don't call him at all like I once did. Our conversational always end up being about the sex that we don't have and how I can't deal with my guilt of this affair. One of the last conversations we had was about 2 weeks ago, and he was telling me how he was offered s** from a female friend of his and I told him that he is responsibile for himself and what he does is not my business, but I did asked him to not tell me about what he does or who he does it with. He told me that he refused her. Our conversation ended kinda sorrowful and we hadn't spoke until today. He called my office, and asked me a question related to my line of work and our conversation was very civil and short and hurt like h***. I think he used the question as an excuse to just talk to me cause he could have found the info out by other means. Hearing his voice made me anxious inside, so anxious I totally over analysed the whole conversation and talked to a friend about it. She agreed with me that he did use it as an excuse and that he is wanting to re-establish our relationship or (as she put it), checking to see if he could still have a hold on me. Do you agree with this and think she was correct??? She also feels that he will call again. He and I have been in this affair thing for a long time. I'm not gonna sit here and say that I don't care about him, or love him or want him happy, cause I do. I just know that we are both were we need to be (He agrees too) but for what ever reason it's so darn hard to let go. Maybe deep down neither one of us want too. But I know, for myself I cannot stay on this wild ride of emotion too much longer.

Any comments and advice would be greatly appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 8:53pm

Fresh

I agree with your friend on both her points, his call was the thin edge of the wedge and if you continue to talk to him the pace will pick up and the nature of the converstions will be back were they were before, it is a tried and true tactic that works often.

What you should do ::::REFUSE to be sucked back into to this unhealthy relationship, NO CONTACT tell him to get his info elsewere in the future if you cannot out right block his calls.

Learn and deal with the reasons YOU have done this, affairs are always about "ME" there not about anyone else.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=14258.1

JMHO

Free




Edited 3/30/2005 9:57 pm ET ET by mefreenow