iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 11:14am

I have this need every anniversary of 9/11 to just be able to talk about my day...even 11 years later.  I feel the pain and horror and anger as acutely as I did that very day.  

I was working at Harvard Pilgrim Health Care...working the phones when I heard a commotion a few cubes down.  A plane had flown into one of the Twin Towers and my co-worker was crying because a family member was on a flight that morning. As the news started filtering through, we all seemed to still be under the impression that it was a plane that veered of course.

I went back to work.  I was on the phone with a physician's office when the horrific news came in that another plane had flown into the other Tower.  I knew immediately that this was no errant plane...it was an act of terrorism...America was under attack.  We cried together, this secretary and I.  

We were released from work that day.  I called the school because I had a 14-year-old foster child enrolled and wanted to know why the parents were not being told 'come get your kids'.  And to tell you the truth, today, don't remember why, but I have a vague recollection of them keeping them...having gathered them in the auditorium...to talk it through?  It's a blur.

What isn't a blur is how JAM responded when I called him.  Because I was sent home, I was now alone and scared.  So I called JAM, but he was cold and seemed annoyed and said he'd catch me later.  Apparently, he was busy on the phone talking it all through with his REAL LOVED ONES.  I believe it was at that moment I realized...it will never be as I want...it was my defining moment to extricate myself.

Anyway, I will be glued to my TV today...watching 9/11 documentaries all day long.  And I will remember this day...I don't want to ever forget.  I don't want to ever forget those who lost their lives..those in the Towers and surrounding areas...and those who gave their lives coming to the rescue.  And I will cry off and on for lives lost and all the acts of heroism.  

It was an act of terrorism against the free world and no one...no one was unaffected...no matter what part of the Planet.

Please feel free to post in and talk about your day and how it unfolded for you.

((((Group HUG)))))


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: withclarity
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 12:52pm

Wow...what a survival story!  Thanks for sharing that.  I can't even imagine...talk about having a Guardian Angel!.  Seems, I learn something new about events, as I figure do all the historians still piecing things together.

Right now, I am feeling anger...and anger that has brought me to tears...and I am so grateful I have a place to put it.

My anger right now is directed at the people who had actually made it out of the building and then were told to go back up.  I don't know if I am more angry at the woman who directed them to do so or those people who allowed someone to tell them to go against their better judgement.  I know that she will have to live with that, but she is alive to live with it.

And I am angry that those in charge ignore the warning from one of the bravest men we will ever know...Rick Rescorla, who warned the powers that be that the next attack (following 2003 attact on World Trade Center...where they entered from below with trucks) would come from the air.  And he gave his life on 9/11 trying to get as many people..employees...out of that building.  Why does it seem that incompetency rises to the top.  Don't answer that question.  I know why...because incompetents surround themselves with other incompetents...because to do otherwise, would highlight their incompetency.

I am angry at our stupid local fire fighters who seem to think that can jump on the 'hero' bandwagon when in reality, they all stand around and watch houses go down...and another reaches to the top of that check list 'you're on the top to be able to go out on disability'...let's have a look at that nasty splinter...and the taxpayers pay them an obscene salary.

I am so proud of those passengers on Flight 93...who knew the end was imminent and so banded together and charged the terrorists...preventing the plane from reaching its intended target.  G-d bless them and their extreme courage.

I am proud of humanity because more often than not, people band together and rise to the challenge of helping others out.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2011
In reply to: luluellis
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 2:10pm

I was sitting at my desk at work, in a daze, hitting refresh on my computer every few seconds.  My brother lived in NYC at the time, and (of course) we couldn't get through to him.  I called my grandmother who was crying and said it was more emotionally devastating than Pearl Harbor.

Today I rewatched some of the old footage and yet again found myself crying at my desk.  I just took cupcakes to our local firestation and police station.  It's not much, but I just felt like doing something.  

It's days like this when my problems feel so insignificant.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2012
In reply to: withclarity
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 2:49pm

Clarity, thank you for starting this.

I remember that day all too clearly.  I was laying in bed with my daughter, 1 year after my D from my XH, and was just starting to date my now H.  My mom woke me up with her Asian accent :smileyhappy:, "We're under attack!"  I remember thinking, WTH is she talking about?  And then, I turned on the TV and saw what was going on. It was horrible!  And when it was announced that it was indeed a terrorist attack, I was furious.

You see, our family is from a different country.  My mom immigrated to the US in the 70's, and in the 1980's, when she completed all the requirements to become a US Citizen, she brought us (her children) from our birth country, to the US so we can be citizens as well.  This is why I am very protective of the US.  My mom chose to bring her kids to this country because she felt that this was the best place to raise her kids.  And so far, it has been the best place for us.  So, when someone attacks the US, I take it personal and I get p!ssed. 

I digress, sorry...

After seeing everything on TV and what those people on the planes and the twin towers had to go through, I started calling all my family members.  I had to make sure everyone was okay.  My H (he wasn't my H then) was in a different state with his son and other family members for a vacation.  He called me that morning to tell me that everything where they were at was closed and that he didn't know when they would be flying back home since the flights were all cancelled.  I remember thinking that I might never see him again.  I think that was one of the turning points in our relationship.  That was when we realized that we both wanted to be in each other’s lives.

To me, the events of that day were horrific to watch.  It was one of those days when you wanted to call everybody dear to you and hug them and love them like there’s no tomorrow, like I did with my daughter.  But it also was a day when I couldn’t have been prouder to be an American after seeing how everyone pulled together and helped one another out.

*ETA: (my network went down and I couldn't get back on... sorry...)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: withclarity
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 11:10pm

I learned new things today.  I watched a special on "The Falling Man"...it was fascinating.  Did you know that there were actually 200 people who jumped to their death...turns out the powers that be airbrushed them out of the pictures taken of the Towers while still standing.  They never delved into why, but I'm figuring to spare everyones psyche.

But anyway, this one picture taken showed a man falling and when it was printed, there was very strong reaction...people were upset, horrified...to be expected.  The photographer went to great lengths to find out who he was.  It took a while and he thought he had the identity and went to the family, who never actually looked at the picture, but he thought it was the father to this family and it upset them terribly because his jumping would be considered an act of suicide and that was bad in their religious eyes.  Turned out it wasn't him and when the family did look at the picture, it absolutely was not.

He believes he found out and there was an interview with the...gee, sorry think it was the man's mother...she said she remembers seeing the picture and saying..."If I didn't know better, I'd think it was Jonathan."  So, whereas they are not 100% sure...perhaps 99.999999% (because the brother knew him to wear an orange t-sheet...and when the showed the sequence of his falling...not just that one picture, when his shirt fell up, a orange t-shirt was revealed...and he fit the description as well as far a being lean, with dark coloring)...it seems the general consensus is that we don't have to know...that he is representative of all the bodies not recovered or unidentfiable..and it is a image representative of the horrific, tragic event.  Kinda like the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  So, that was really interesting.

So, I'm wrapping up today's viewing because I watched all day long...listening to peoples horrifying tales...on a positive and am watching the effort into restoring Ground Zero.  How they used the 'meaningful adjacency" technique to place names together with friends and names together with co-workers vs. having to good friends so far away from each other because of alphabetizing.  That's really cool....and was a major undertaking.

And one tree survived and that was replantied and the beautiful waterfall and fountain...and all the other trees.  A real meaningful tribute...and I feel a little better...and feel a little more at peace.  And I'm sure it helps the families who lost loved ones whose bodies were never recovered.

It was very strange because today's weather seemed to match to a tee the weather on 9/11. Clear, beautiful sunny day..not a cloud in the sky.

It felt good...and a relief...to be able to talk about things here.

G-d Bless America


Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
In reply to: withclarity
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 8:44pm
9/11 will remain for me the day my 2 year old vision of a perfect and innocent world came to an end.

We were sitting on the couch side by side and I was watching the days events on TV. My son exclaimed with glee "Mommy! Look! A plane!". When I didn't respond, he turned to look at me, said "oh" and remained quiet and closed for the rest of the evening.

I do not know how I must have looked to him that evening, but he was certainly de-stabilised. I keep this event in my mind to remind me of how perceptive children can be, and they likely know more of what's going on then we'd like to believe.