Can someone please give me some M advice?
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|Wed, 02-29-2012 - 1:30pm|
It's been a little while since I last posted, but I thought I'd try out the new "Fireside Chat" area and see if you guys can help me out with something I've been struggling with at home, as I don't really have any idea where else to turn. I'm going into my 4th month of NC, so no issues there, really...but my marriage has hit a serious rough patch that has me worried it could send me into a "relapse."
My H and I moved across the country 4 months ago so I could take a new job, and he has not been able to find any work. Let me rephrase that. He has not gotten a job. He has sent out tons of resumes, maybe had like 2 interviews, but that's it. I think he's holding out for his ideal job, but we just desperately need money. I have been covering ALL of our bills (including his personal credit card bills, etc.), and I don't really make enough money to do this. I find myself becoming completely disgusted by him...he sits at home all day every day while I bring home the bread. He has lots of work experience, is extremely professional and intelligent, he just can't/won't find a job. At this point I don't even care if he has to wash cars or flip pizzas or something...the strain is becoming unbearable, and it's making me become even more emotionally distanced from him.
Thing is he has never pulled his weight financially in our marriage. Since the day we met I've been the primary breadwinner. I thought after nearly 10 years of being together this would eventually change, but it hasn't. I am not looking to be "taken care of" in any way--I like working and have no intention of stopping or anything like that--it just gets taxing being the ONLY one who can contribute to savings, buy groceries, etc. We're in our 30s and because of this financial drain, we are nowhere even close to being able to think about buying a house, cars--anything. I feel like I'm in the same place I was when I was 24, only *I'm* making a fine salary...I'm just covering someone else's expenses seemingly indefinitely.
Can someone give me some advice? Has anyone dealt with anything like this? Am I being unfair/impatient? I have tried to talking about it to people before but they are quick to label me "materialistic," which I think is unfair. I've been working my a$$ off since I was 16, and I just want to be working TOWARD something...not living paycheck to paycheck. And have financial issues in your M ever led to overall marriage problems. Truly ANY advice/tough love would be much, much appreciated. Thanks.