Can't get rid of the pain

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Can't get rid of the pain
4
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 12:29pm

Some of you may be familiar with my prior post by here a synopsis. I am a MM, had a 3 year affair with woman who had a live-in b/f. About 2 years into A, he found out about us and finally left. AP was now single.


She was okay with it because I told I would leave my S in time. As the specific time came closer, I pushed AP away because I knew I could not

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 3:13pm

Did you find a good T yet? I know sometimes men are hesitant about going to T but I think it would help you. The pain you are experiencing is greater than loosing your AP. It stems deeper with issues that were there long before she entered your life. Even if she were to take you back, you both would disappoint each other until you get healthy.


You have to dig deep to find out why you are content on using your W for financial support and not willing to be 100% invested in the M but not willing to let her go to find someone who will stay with her because he loves her. You've admitted that you don't love your W anymore but you don't want to let her go. You've admitted that you love and want your AP but you are not willing to commit to her 100% either. You really need to figure out what is going on with you and learn how to live an honest life where you are not using ppl to get what you want. Your pain really isn't about your XAP it's about you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 3:41pm

You have already established that you cannot make a commitment to your AP, so IMO you are still addicted to the drama, excitement, and the "feel goods" you received from your A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 8:04pm

Hi


I know your pain...I am a SW recently split from a MM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 1:10pm
Thanks for your help. Today is 10 weeks and even though I am not where I want to be emotionally, the realization of the break-up is reality. Even if I did go back to the AP, everything was lost, the trust, the love she had for me, she is now is used to someone else. We all have our reasons why get involved in an A but I will focus on my M with no distractions and see where it goes. Thanks for your support, Pud