The Date Guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
The Date Guy
21
Sat, 10-30-2010 - 10:14pm

Ok so...Figure I'd post this here as Im a single woman who has ended her affair and is now dipping my toe in the CESPOOL of "eligible" doods in my Area.

I went on a date the other night. It was fun. I laughed. I liked stuff about him.

Howevs! I am in a period in my life where MY NEEDS AND BOUNDARIES AND WHO IM ABOUT ...is 1) being clarified and 2) not EVER going to be compromised again. (by me)

So....fast forward - to an interaction that just took place between me and the available guy- I want to Vent it here and PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK FOR BEING A CLASS ACT & A CHICK WHOS GOT HER $HIT MORE TOGETHER than She sometimes gives herself credit for!! :)

That being said, here's what happened in brief:

1. He took a job with the company I've been doing contract work for

2. The company has been experiencing $ issues (welcome to america!)

3.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sat, 10-30-2010 - 11:28pm

not every red flag is the same size.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 10-30-2010 - 11:32pm

DONE.

You're a hot knife cutting through butter!!!!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 8:56am
spot on advice Dee. I completely agree. Inappropriate/misdirected manifestations of anger isn't one of those red flags that we stick around to see if we can work with. OOhhh, yuck too about how he handled himself. It's one of those things that makes me think "gosh, if that's how you handle your anger/frustration/hurt/disappointment in public, than how do you handle it in private!?"

Not when there is a whole pool of fish who would jump outta the ocean and into a boat for you (-:

I also wanted to add that you have really taught me what a red flag might *look like* AND ALSO how to conduct myself with grace and dignity in saying "NO". We say it all the time *watch for red flags* and there are some that are more obvious than others ... but it's great to get a chance to see you processing it through from start to finish. We also know that you were excited to have a date with this guy, so LOOK AT YOU AND ALL THE NEW SKILLS YOU ARE PUTTING INTO PLAY!


TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 9:39am
<>

My sentiments exactly....and thanks for the "chuckle."
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 10:09am

M~

Sounds to me like this guy is a short fuse, and you won't want to be around him when he goes off again. Count your blessings that you were able to see this so soon. Read my quote at the end of my posts. This definitely applies to Mr. Accent.:smileytongue:

As Dee/TU have already said, you are a beautiful gal who is in the process of getting her little duckies in a row. Don't let anyone get in the way of this. Remember, it was just a date and it takes a long time to heal from an A, so you have a whole bunch more to go on as you continue to learn about yourself, what it is you want/need from a "good" man, and being able to pick and choose who will be honored by just having your attention. :smileywink:

((Hugs)))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 3:24pm

Thanks TU!!!

Yes! I had those thoughts too!!! What's done in public is probably only a FRACTION of what would be comfortable in private. Also - my daughter said....that even if he say isn't prone to striking out physically in

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 3:32pm

WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE...BELIEVE THEM

Check!

Thank you Iddy, YUP! You're right...I am NOT letting anyone get in my way with my big Self Excavation project. In fact, anyone I meet along this road has become part of a "project" to PROVE to myself (self trust) that Im able to make healthy decisions here on out.

This guy just became a lesson in what DOESNT work for me.

The accent stays in the "does work for me" column though

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 4:21pm

I think this post is pertinent on this board and not only for the SWs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 7:29pm

Hi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 7:33pm

Ohhh yay! good then! Im glad I shared my story!!!

:)

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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