Need Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2011
Need Help
4
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 8:03pm

Hello Everyone,

I am new to this forum and just want to get something off my chest. I recently had a break up with my fiance of 5 years. It was a mutual split but it has still been very hard. A few months ago I was contacted by an old boyfriend whom I was absolutely in love with. We meet for dinner the first time and that was it. A couple of weeks later actually (2 weeks ago) who met for dinner again and spent some time together. I feel as if we have picked up where we left off the only problem is he is married. I think about him all the time and want to be with him and he tells me the same thing. I know I should feel ashamed but at this very moment I don't. We are planning a vacation together and everything. Please help me to get it together ladies. Is this just a bad rebound from the break-up?

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
In reply to: diva2011
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 11:26pm

My dear, you have the chance to stop this right now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
In reply to: diva2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 5:03am

Diva,

I know that right now this MM's attention feels exciting and flattering. Been there done that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
In reply to: diva2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 8:59am

You are probably not going to listen to the wonderful women on this board but I guarantee you that you will be back here in a few months in more pain that you have ever experienced if you continue to allow this man to use you and go home to his W and play the good H. He is not honorable and what you are doing is not honorable either. We owe it to ourselves to only allow healthy, honest, worthy ppl in our lives. A MM who is hiding you out from his W. If you truly care about him the way you say you do, don't enable his bad behavior by being a partner in his lies and deception to another woman. If he really wants you, tell him to come to you as an honest man who is divorced and ready to show you off to the world. Are you ready to be alone on holidays and weekends while he plays happy H at home with another woman? Are you ready to drive yourself nuts wondering if he slept with his W before he came to see you? Are you ready to get a few moments of "joy" at the expense of intruding into another woman's M? You are single and available to explore possibilities with men who will not hide you and cheat on you. He is a cheater and he handles commitment very badly. He's already showing you who he is. If you stay in this A, you are showing him that you don't think enough of yourself to demand more from your man.

Run, don't walk away from this man and build yourself up to a point where a MM will look at you and KNOW he doesn't have a chance to make you his dirty little secret. Never try to gain happiness by hurting others, it doesn't work, and in the long run you will be the one who suffers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2011
In reply to: diva2011
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 5:21pm
Diva,

You have received some wise advice here, and I honestly don't think I could articulate it any better than to simply agree with the posts and urge you to end this quickly. You deserve better, and even though you are recovering from a hard break-up, engaging in an A will not make this better - in fact - it will be worse. If this MM from your past who has reentered your life wants to be in yours, then he will need to respect you enough to either get a D or leave you alone - no good will come of this situation.