Like a Rubix cube...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Like a Rubix cube...
19
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 10:46am
Many of you know this week has brought some new challenges my way even though my A ended almost 5 months ago now. This morning I realized as time passes it beings on different views of the A. I compare it to a rubix cube. Even as times passes and my thinking changes the whole view changes and the "game" changes. Do I still think about him? Yes. What sucks is that he hates me and cannot stand to be around me. A view point about that is that he is "behaving" post A and maintaining NC/LC. Well it's easier when you've done it before. LC at work is terrible. If my post is read by anyone thinking of or just starting an A with a coworker DON'T! The job I have always loved is a place of anxiety and hurt. My H is doing better than expected though we have our up and down days...
I'm curious though, in our endings how many of you are torn between "love" and hate at this point? All endings are messy. How about those of you in A's for years!!? These are just my thoughts this morning as I wake up and move another piece on my so-called rubix cube of healing. I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 4:32pm
Wow nice, thanks for the responses. Always nice to share for nothing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2011
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 7:21pm

Trying,

I used to be CL on this board 3 years ago. If I remember correctly, the weekends were always slow, so I am sorry you haven't gotten any responses until now. Also, many times people don't take that one extra step to

"Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 12:07am
I didn't realize I hadn't posted I the General Section. But thanks for your response!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 9:11am

TBT-

Like Messenger said, the weekends are slow (unfortunately) and any section but the General one get overlooked even on the best of days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 11:00am
Thank you Dee, I needed to read that this morning! Sometimes I do wonder why my path seems "different" from most on this board and it's frustrating to reach out and not really hear any support. So thank you again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 12:48pm

Hey Tuff- Sorry you didn't ge ta lot of responses.

Formerly heartacheafter7years
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 1:34pm

HI TBT, ((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

I just saw your post today, don't know why I missed it yesterday, cept that its not in the General section.

I know what you mean about not getting many responses, it is frustrating especially since most of us have no one to talk to, so we come here and when no one is around you feel more alone.

I also work with xap, not sure about love/hate, I've gotten mad at him, but not 'hate'. When I fell for him I'd never felt that way about anyone in my life, so it is really hard to let go of that 'new first love' that I thought I'd found.

Hang in there, we can do this, not sure how yet, but we will!!

WTS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 3:57pm
Thanks ladies :). I have considered leaving my job because besides the A my workplace seems to have a real toxic dynamic... Hard to explain. But I do love my job and leaving would be the end of my career, the only option is re-training and finding a new career which is an overwhelming thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 5:12pm

I can't consider leaving, the money in this job is the best I've ever made, I'm 5 miles from work, in the process of a divorce, I have to keep working. Xap is looking for other work though, this job is just part time and he really needs fulltime. They sent him home the other day for a ridiculous reason, so now he's really intent on getting out. Hopefully it will all work out for the best for everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 7:13pm
I would love to have the ability to transfer with my job and get away from exAP! But there is so much to consider and while I know my H would support the decision, as he hates me working with my ex, I just can't quit my job :(

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