To tell or not to tell is the question....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
To tell or not to tell is the question....
11
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 9:07am

I was hoping that Andy's thread would inspire someone to start a discussion down here re whether one should or should not tell their spouse they had an A. I know that some of you had no choice due to discovery, but for those of you who have managed to get past your A without disclosure, perhaps you would like to tell the readers how and why you chose this path, and how it is working for you. Then there are some of you who have come clean to your spouse, and I would like to hear the pros and cons of this decision. I don't want this to turn into a debate, but rather a mature exchange of opinions.

I was single and never had to face this decision, although I did eventually tell my adult children. They had already sensed my fondness for XAP, so I felt I owned them the truth.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha

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Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 11:44am

Just like A’s, we all have differing opinions on this subject.

I have chosen the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell approach.

To those who don’t know my story, I have been on the other side of a DDay many times.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

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