Why you should end your affair and stay strong

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011
Why you should end your affair and stay strong
6
Sun, 07-24-2011 - 1:41pm

This message is for anyone who is ending or has ended their affair but it having doubts. If you are thinking, maybe he will in fact leave his wife for me if I stick it out a little longer, let me assure you the chances are so slim, that what you need to do is be strong and move on with your life. Take it from me because I know. I have been there. Four times.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010

It sounds like that old song from the 80's. "Looking for love in all the wrong places"

My question has to be, WHY? Why would you be so available to a MM?

I understand we rule our lives on emotions, and not logic.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011

Hi Finallystrong.

Thank you for posting your story. Have you ever thought of why you were involved in relationships with one

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011
Yes, I have learned a lot along the way and I know that now. Thanks for your helpful post (unlike the judgmental ratherbeme--this is supposed to be a safe supportive place).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2011

Thank you for sharing your story Finallystrong. I was in a relationship where he was separated 2 years, but all the sudden she wants to try again. I'm sorry you had to go thru it 4 times, but your story shows clearly there are lots of guys out there that are just not going to let go, so stay away from them!! We are worth so much more.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010

I am sorry I offended you.

All of us here have been involved in affairs, and we all know that it wasn’t the right thing for us.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 07-31-2011 - 12:59am
FinallyStrong, thank you for sharing your story, I can hardly imagine the heartbreak you must have been through over the years. I am glad you have found the strength to believe that you are worth so much more.

One of the difficulties with a board like this is that messages can be read in a number of ways, without all the usual nonverbal cues to help us understand someone's meaning. RatherBeMe is a caring member of this community, and while he's known for being truthful to the point of bluntness, his posts are always intended to be supportive rather than judgmental. I think he was simply asking a sincere and concerned question about the underlying reasons for your history of falling for unavailable men. And it sounds as though that's something you've given a lot of thought to too.

It would be great to hear more about what helped you to change your thinking and start expecting more from a relationship?

Hugs

Kat