1st time NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
1st time NC
7
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 3:07pm

Well....first time ***REAL*** NC :( starts today and I am sad.


AP's W works for a school district and Christmas break starts for her today, won't really speak to AP until

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 6:17pm

I would be real careful about going to AP's home to have sex. Or to see him, for that matter. One never knows when someone could come home unexpectedly, and wouldn't THAT be beautiful. It's just not a good idea, any way you look at it. And don't listen to him. He's thinking with the wrong head. All of us at some time or another pop home for some reason. You do NOT want to find yourself in that situation. Plus, be honest, isn't there a part of you that thinks it's even just a tad bit icky to be fooling around with him in her home? Maybe it's just me, but I would feel VERY uncomfortable.

Also, you said you were married, too in your other post. So the same goes for you. I wouldn't be taking him home. Ever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 3:53am

I guess we all take some sort of risk(s) when engaging in this kind of behavior. She happens to work about an hour away from home, so that makes it a bit easier.


Tacky for fooling around in her home? Nope

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 4:24am
I agree with sillyme....I know this isn't what the post was about....and it's true we all take risks in this sort of behavior to some extent, but I am a firm believer in keeping the two worlds SEPARATE. I'm a little different because my AP is single, so I have it simple in that regard (harder in others), but never ever ever will he come into my home....I don't want him here (and I really do care about him) and I would be really appalled if he wanted to come here and have sex with me in my husbands bed. I know that's kind of a funny thing for those of us cheating on said husband to find disrespectful....but it just is. Tacky...yes. Dangerous....absolutely. Neighbors notice cars, spouses come home.....very unsmart. Sorry. Just our opinion. Don't mess up what seems to be going swimmingly well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 4:34am

Never ever ever have I stepped a foot into their bedroom. He brought up that she was going home to see family for a week in the spring and asked how easy it would be for me to be gone from home all night one night (I work 12 hour night shifts) because he would love to sleep with me...just sleep, once. And I asked if we would be bedding down on the floor and he said "uh no, I have a bed". I told him I could not sleep in "their" bed.


Maybe some of you all think I am the world's worst person for seeing her H in their home, but I would NEVER go into their bed, not even their bedroom.


I thought this was a support board? Feels more attacking in nature.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:51am
Sorry you feel that way gal....it's also a board for advice. A's can make you all loopy in the head and foggy in your thinking...for ALL of us. An A is not reality, and sometimes we get a dose of reality on this board from others who have BTDT.....just because it is not what you want to hear doesn't mean it is ill intended or mean spirited.....just our opinion, as I stated earlier. I know some of what is said is hard to swallow, but A's are messy, and there IS mostly support here. I ended my post with my opinion that your A is going swimmingly well...I hoped that would make you smile :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 6:05am
I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the advice. Yes, things are going well...too well??? Loopy? Foggy in the head? Oh heaven's yes! That is EXACTLY how I feel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 10:27am
Don't sweat the NC.