OMG!! I am absolutely floored! Just when you thought it was almost over, he rolled back onto her side of the fence. Goes to show that until the D papers are signed and in his hand, its NEVER too early to celebrate.
Awench, my heart goes out to you. I hope you manage to get through the next few months alright and the W does keep her word to help pay rent.
I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but i really wanted to say a few words to you. First and foremost,
you WILL feel better. I promise, no, guarantee this. In due time and with the right steps. Ok?
As for waht happened..sweetie..if you read enough on here and perhaps over on EAS (i lurk there all the time but don't post anymore as my A is still on) you will see that what happened to you, is not unusual at all. Married men do this time and time again to their AP. They say they are coming to you, and squirm out of it last minute. Go back to wifey. It is nothing that you did - you've been so good and welcoming and well intentioned all thru this. it's him tho. He's M and he is not ready to leave his W. He may have contemplated it, and even went with it, but as soon as they had the talk, he realized that at this point he cannot. Selfish, yes. Cruel, yes. But it is a common, typical thing to happen in the A. The AP gets thrown under the bus and left to fend for herself. You know what? I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back to you and the whole thing starts again.
So think about what it is that you want, after considering all the facts.
Save yourself while you still have some self-worth left. He brought his W to your new place and took her side again. Remember that no matter how bad you want this man he is still her H. He is her H because he chooses to be. Talking to him privately won't change the fact that he has chose his W over you. I don't mean to be harsh but accepting the truth will help you in the long run. I know you love him but love yourself more by saying ENOUGH! This man or no other man is worth all of this drama. Also remember that his W is human with feelings also and neither you or her deserve to be played like a yo-yo. One of you have to be the bigger woman and remove yourself from this man's drama. He will call you again but his actions are that of a coward. He had no business bringing her to your place. He had no business doing that. That should have been your safe place even if he chose to not be there with you he didn't have to let her know where you were. This could have turned really ugly and his W must be a saint because she could have come into your home and really went crazy on you. Him and his W are standing together as a united front against you, and even if he sneaks and calls you and wants to keep you as his little toy on the side he has proven over and over where he really wants to be. He's a grown man who can make choices and decisions on his own. IMHO he humiliated you by bringing his W over. How much more humiliation are you going to allow this man to subject you to before you realize that there are billions of people on this planet and this man isn't the only person you can give your heart to. Go NC. Even when he contacts you don't fall into his web of deceit. Let him deceive his W all by himself and find a way to take care of you. He doesn't deserve you or his W; he should really loose you both.
After re reading your OP, i realized that now the W knows where you live AGAIN. I dont know how he is ever going to be able to sneak and see you there as you stated that she had a GPS track your last home. IMO you are not going to have any peace with or without him until you move homes again. UGH!
I am floored here--what an awful cruel weasel move on his part. His wife has more class then he does--but enough about her. Its you I feel horrible for. What was he thinking? How could he put you in that position then show up with her at your new place....
What an eye-opener this is. As hard as it must of been to write this post I am so glad you did. I have some major decisions to make in the next year regarding where I choose to live concerning him, and I will now think twice about any move that doesn't put my best interests first because obviously married men put the wives first--even when they have moved out the door. WOW.
I am so sorry you were treated this way. His loss.
OMG!! I am absolutely floored! Just when you thought it was almost over, he rolled back onto her side of the fence.
Goes to show that until the D papers are signed and in his hand, its NEVER too early to celebrate.
Awench, my heart goes out to you. I hope you manage to get through the next few months alright and the W does keep her word to help pay rent.
(((Big Hugs))))
SB
Dear awench,
I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but i really wanted to say a few words to you. First and foremost,
you WILL feel better. I promise, no, guarantee this. In due time and with the right steps. Ok?
As for waht happened..sweetie..if you read enough on here and perhaps over on EAS (i lurk there all the time but don't post anymore as my A is still on) you will see that what happened to you, is not unusual at all. Married men do this time and time again to their AP. They say they are coming to you, and squirm out of it last minute. Go back to wifey. It is nothing that you did - you've been so good and welcoming and well intentioned all thru this. it's him tho. He's M and he is not ready to leave his W. He may have contemplated it, and even went with it, but as soon as they had the talk, he realized that at this point he cannot. Selfish, yes. Cruel, yes. But it is a common, typical thing to happen in the A. The AP gets thrown under the bus and left to fend for herself. You know what? I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back to you and the whole thing starts again.
So think about what it is that you want, after considering all the facts.
You're not alone, and you will overcome this.
Ok?
Look after yourself for now,
Sunshine
.
Sunshine
.
awench,
Save yourself while you still have some self-worth left. He brought his W to your new place and took her side again. Remember that no matter how bad you want this man he is still her H. He is her H because he chooses to be. Talking to him privately won't change the fact that he has chose his W over you. I don't mean to be harsh but accepting the truth will help you in the long run. I know you love him but love yourself more by saying ENOUGH! This man or no other man is worth all of this drama. Also remember that his W is human with feelings also and neither you or her deserve to be played like a yo-yo. One of you have to be the bigger woman and remove yourself from this man's drama. He will call you again but his actions are that of a coward. He had no business bringing her to your place. He had no business doing that. That should have been your safe place even if he chose to not be there with you he didn't have to let her know where you were. This could have turned really ugly and his W must be a saint because she could have come into your home and really went crazy on you. Him and his W are standing together as a united front against you, and even if he sneaks and calls you and wants to keep you as his little toy on the side he has proven over and over where he really wants to be. He's a grown man who can make choices and decisions on his own. IMHO he humiliated you by bringing his W over. How much more humiliation are you going to allow this man to subject you to before you realize that there are billions of people on this planet and this man isn't the only person you can give your heart to. Go NC. Even when he contacts you don't fall into his web of deceit. Let him deceive his W all by himself and find a way to take care of you. He doesn't deserve you or his W; he should really loose you both.
awench,
I feel your pain.
O..M..G!
myrasfriend-
wow very good advice!!! Very true... very insightful indeed.
After re reading your OP, i realized that now the W knows where you live AGAIN. I dont know how he is ever going to be able to sneak and see you there as you stated that she had a GPS track your last home.
IMO you are not going to have any peace with or without him until you move homes again. UGH!
SB
I am floored here--what an awful cruel weasel move on his part. His wife has more class then he does--but enough about her. Its you I feel horrible for. What was he thinking? How could he put you in that position then show up with her at your new place....
What an eye-opener this is. As hard as it must of been to write this post I am so glad you did. I have some major decisions to make in the next year regarding where I choose to live concerning him, and
I will now think twice about any move that doesn't put my best interests first because obviously married men put the wives first--even when they have moved out the door. WOW.
I am so sorry you were treated this way. His loss.
I just have to echo what everyone said again.