Addicted to Affairs?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Addicted to Affairs?
25
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 9:20am

Who has had more than one A?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 3:38pm
I like that a supplement - that is sweet
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 4:11pm

goddess -I could have written your post - that's pretty much how I feel about current AP. Have had 4 prior but nothing like this one - I don't think I would call it an addiction either - others were out of anger / revenge this one is soo different. Don't think I could walk away even if

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 4:18pm

Ya know...sometimes I think I belong somewhere in Europe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2006
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 8:38pm
I know it is cheap, but I am starting to think that maybe some of us are just not born for one partner! Is there anything like that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2006
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 8:41pm
Not hijacking the topic, but wondering for those you with more than one APs, do they know about each other? Does it make you feel like you are cheating on them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2009
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 9:11pm

I haven't posted here FOREVER. Over a year. I was under a different user name and I can't even remember what it was. Was in a very intense A with a MM for 2 years. I was M, got divorced about 18 mos into the A... anyway, in response to your post.. YES!! they can be very addicting! Though I have only had one, I am highly contemplating starting another one. Since my D and ending of the A, I have dated a few guys, and had my heart broken in one way or another and I have decided a MM is the way to go. I'm pretty much in control. I call the shots, especially now that I'm single. If I keep my emotions in check, which I think my heart and mind have been so hurt and hardended, it shouldn't be hard, I will be ok. MM can do his thing while I do mine. I don't have to worry about him cheating on me. I have decided most (99.9%) men AND women

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 9:34pm

I've had more than one.

Whatever emotional reasons or "voids" in myself that caused the first one obviously didn't go away, so I went on to a second and a third.

They were all fairly long term - well, 1 1/2 years each for the first two and 10 years for my present one.

For me, the "secret life" part of it has always been appealing - or the "double life" part. Can't explain it. Also, interacting with someone as ME, not someone's wife and someone's mother etc. Being somewhere as ME, not surrounded by family entourage (although I thoroughly enjoy my family entourage, I also enjoy being just ME in a quiet place away from it all...) :-)

I think "repeat offenders" are common because we haven't "fixed" whatever it is that makes us seek affairs. Even if we say we weren't looking, some part of us was open to it. It's funny - I'll suggest counseling to people here sometimes, just to get a handle themselves and help them through things, but I never seem to do that for myself.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 9:51pm
Woody when ever you post it is like a breath of fresh air. Not serious, just light.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 10:06pm
Ok what is your secret for ten years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 7:14am

Every day I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well.--Mary Cholmondeley

Lite and airy