Advice based on a general observation...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Advice based on a general observation...
14
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 5:30pm
ladies

I have read so much on here as to why didn’t he call? Why didn’t he email? Why aren’t these men chasing us? Why? Because most likely these men they know they have you, and they know they have you right where they want you. Think about it…if you spill your guts as to how you feel about him, or call, or email consistently, well, the man KNOWS how you feel, and most likely knows already what your reactions will be to his actions…of course he is going to back off and slow down; he no longer has to WORK at keeping that hold on you…I’m not saying that these men are necessarily “jerks,” I think it’s just in a man’s (or that masculine) nature to behave in this manner (especially when a relationship is not all that serious, and let’s face it, affair relationships can only be so serious…hmmm?)

Just something to think about…I think this can be applied to all relationships, not just affair relationships. Also, one thing I have learned to be true of many of the men from my past (including the man am I with currently)…most men LOVE and WANT a confident and assured woman. If you don’t allow him to treat you like a doormat…HE WON'T!!! Also, it’s not about appearing as if you are confident; it’s about truly BEING confident in who you are, what you want, and what you DESERVE from a relationship (and let's face it, I think everyone here knows that deep down we all deserve more than a part-time relationship, i.e., an affair, but I'm not here to judge...contrary to the beliefs of some here, I would just like to offer an opinion and advice from time to time if I may). So, just an opinion. Have a good weekend...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 8:16pm
Hi O-

You say "They are interested primarily in the "chase" and lose interest when they feel they have "won". It is particularly true of men who either don't have feelings for a person or who are scared of the feelings they do have, though."

Out of curiosty, which group would you consider to be the majority in A's? The "non-caring" or the "scared of feelings".

Thanks much! :-)

v.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:38pm
Glad the thread was good for you...I wish a you speedy recovery...

Glad others took it positively as well...

Omahamm...I was a bit harsh on you the last time I posted to you, well...actually, ok, I was plain harsh. I could've said what I said in a much more compassionate and less judgmental manner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 7:27am
Welcome to the board (again)....glad to have your input.

cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 9:15am
Thank you for acknowledging that mayer. As I said before, I have no issues with you at all and I always enjoy new thoughts and ideas being introduced here. As far as I'm concerned, we have a completely clean slate.

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