advice on coping!!
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advice on coping!!
| Mon, 12-29-2003 - 10:08pm |
Hi everyone,
I am not sure if I am in the right room or not for this but I could not find anyplace else. A little backround, I am in a long distance relationship since October and am moving out there (California from NY) in 5 weeks. Me and my b/f were together for almost a year before he took the job out there and I am soooooo excited b/c I am totally head over heels for him. We were apart for 10 weeks and then I flew out to see him for 11 days 2 weeks ago and just got home exactly one week ago. Well in this past week my ex was in town from Virginia and we are still buddies so we went to a friends house to have a few drinks and such, then all I remember is having some sexual contact with him (not intercourse) but regretting and feeling DISGUSTED with myself the next day. Then just last night I went to a friend from college a few years ago place for a party that they had. Well once again maybe I drank too much b/c I had intercourse with him. And once again feel TERRIBLE!!! I survived the first 10 weeks with flying colors and have only been homem a week and already this has happened :(. Also I guess I should say that I just turned 21(explains why I have been going out so much) and that mem and my b/f decided just this trip when I went out that we would live together. Maybe it is that I KNOW that this is the man for me for life and I am sowing my oats? Well this is the best relationship I have ever been in, was engaged before for 2 years living with the man and NEVER cheated. Or is it that he is soooooooooo far away now? I dont think that anything is lacking so I dont know why I did it. BUt now the fact remains how do I deal with it? I have a very guilty conscience but dont want to lose him. This does not mean that I love him any less does is? I am just soooo confused as to why I would do something like this to the greatest man I have ever met. It has been well over a year and still never even a conflict. And how do I move past this and cope? I know that when we are together in 5 weeks things will be great and I will definately not do anything as I will have him there. Thanks for listening, sorry soo long. My name is Sarah by the way.
I am not sure if I am in the right room or not for this but I could not find anyplace else. A little backround, I am in a long distance relationship since October and am moving out there (California from NY) in 5 weeks. Me and my b/f were together for almost a year before he took the job out there and I am soooooo excited b/c I am totally head over heels for him. We were apart for 10 weeks and then I flew out to see him for 11 days 2 weeks ago and just got home exactly one week ago. Well in this past week my ex was in town from Virginia and we are still buddies so we went to a friends house to have a few drinks and such, then all I remember is having some sexual contact with him (not intercourse) but regretting and feeling DISGUSTED with myself the next day. Then just last night I went to a friend from college a few years ago place for a party that they had. Well once again maybe I drank too much b/c I had intercourse with him. And once again feel TERRIBLE!!! I survived the first 10 weeks with flying colors and have only been homem a week and already this has happened :(. Also I guess I should say that I just turned 21(explains why I have been going out so much) and that mem and my b/f decided just this trip when I went out that we would live together. Maybe it is that I KNOW that this is the man for me for life and I am sowing my oats? Well this is the best relationship I have ever been in, was engaged before for 2 years living with the man and NEVER cheated. Or is it that he is soooooooooo far away now? I dont think that anything is lacking so I dont know why I did it. BUt now the fact remains how do I deal with it? I have a very guilty conscience but dont want to lose him. This does not mean that I love him any less does is? I am just soooo confused as to why I would do something like this to the greatest man I have ever met. It has been well over a year and still never even a conflict. And how do I move past this and cope? I know that when we are together in 5 weeks things will be great and I will definately not do anything as I will have him there. Thanks for listening, sorry soo long. My name is Sarah by the way.

Just a thought for you perhaps you are acting out because you are just a little scared about the commitment you are makeing to the b/f, you are only 21 are you sure you are ready for what you are getting into.
I suggest that you stay sobber and think about what you really want at this stage of your life perhaps things are moveing just a little to fast for you!
Also stay away from the X remember you ended with him for a reason (I presume a good one).
here is another site you may want to check out a fair number of young people post there.
http://www.affairs-help.com/cgi-bin/Ultimate.cgi?action=intro&BypassCookie=true
Free
Sarah,
My immediate thoughts are this....you just turned 21...you were engaged for 2 years in a past relationship and then have been with your current boyfriend a year....WHAT'S THE RUSH!?? I met my now husband when I was 19 and