Advice needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
Advice needed
11
Mon, 10-06-2003 - 11:28pm
Hi everyone,

This weekend has been probably the most confusing of my entire life. I went away on business and came back eagerly awaiting the welcome from my family. My husband and kids picked me up and something just didn't seem right.

The next day I had to go away on work again and believed I would be home around midnight. Well I didn't get in until 2 a.m. because the meeting ran long and didn't end until 10pm and the drive was at least a four hour drive.

I was exhausted and I have been working and away from home for almost the entire month and when I came home my husband was extremely angry. I asked what was wrong and he said "a lot of things". I have expressed my anger towards my H at times on this board, but truly we are great together and I love him dearly. So when I heard this I was shocked.

The next day, again, I had to go away on business and surprisingly he offered to drive me. My brother offered to watch the kids and away we went. I was looking forward to spending some time with him. Well after a long conversation it came out that he is concerned that he is loosing me or that I am having an affair. My heart broke, not out of fear or guilt but because when he said those words I felt so upset at the thought that secretly I was hurting him. During this conversation he realized the mistakes he has been making and I realized mine. He pulled over to the side of the road, took my hand and told me that although he has made mistakes and not showing his appreciation of me that I am his world, and that he promises to start working at certain things. That night we stayed at a hotel, and OMG we made love like we used to years ago, I almost cried.

Now, I have NEVER EVER taken time out of my family life to see my MM. We only actually "see" one another about 6 times a year if we are lucky and the odd lunch together. However I have been neglecting some things around the house to find time to email him or talk to him but nothing huge.

This is my problem, I love my H with all my heart and want us to share the rest of our lives together. I never went looking for an A, it just happened. MM is my dearest and closest friend and to picture life without him, well I just can't. Every weekend I think "OK, you have to stop this" but then I get an email, hear his voice, or see him and I just can't resist him. I was reading another conversation on here and many of you said the same thing, where there are times when you want to stop, and be good, but just can't. How do you deal with it?

Here I thought I could deal with this, but sometimes its soo hard! I dont know what I am looking for, but I know I need advice, support, or knowing that I am just not alone in his confusion.

Thanks everyone

Sweettendencies

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 10:38am
Kari,

ALL of that sounds familiar. I just never thought I would be soo lucky, and yet feel so crappy at the same time. LOL

Thanks so much for your words and your support, I love the advice you offer to all of us, you are a great asset to this board.

Sweettendencies

Pages