Advice Needed- Long
Find a Conversation
Advice Needed- Long
| Thu, 03-26-2009 - 9:12pm |
I haven't posted in awhile. I am currently 8 months pregnant with AP baby. I told him back in October and he has handled things pretty well in my opinion.

You are in between a rock and a hard place.
Travelgal...I really agree with everything Justpeachy posted.
Hi travelgal,
Your AP probably has so many things swirling aound in his head right now... he is going through many stressful life-altering events, a Divorce, moving to a new house, becoming a father again in less than ideal circumstances... that would put a whole lot of pressure on the best of them.
He's probably having a tough time dealing with it all simultaneously so he's focusing on his D along with his new home for now. Once the baby is here I think that he will become more involved. Remember that he didn't necessarily want this baby so it's harder to process for him. You will need some patience for this.
For now you need to put yourself and your baby first and not fret over AP. I am sure you realize that by having a baby with an AP, there is a likely possibility that you would end up being a single mom. Your wee one needs to come first, and you too, Mom. Make sure that your AP fulfills his financial obligations towards the baby. As for the rest hopefully he will come around on his own, you can't force him.
Good luck sweetie and please focus on relaxing for the last few weeks before the little one arrives :)
hugs
trixie
He is officially moved out into his own house. He stayed most of the night here last night keeping me awake mostly with talking. I tried to pay attention and just listen even though staying up at this stage is hard. He was very loving and I got the feeling he just needed held. As we were talking I told him that what I needed most was for him to be ok with everything....that I needed him to want this baby. He said he couldn't change how he felt and I told him that I hoped he would feel different after she was born and he said he might. He doesn't want her to have his last name and he wants a DNA test. He also talked about how he has always wondered if his other daughter is really his because he has always thought his wife had cheated on him around that time. When I told him that I felt that him giving her his name was important he said we still had time to talk about that. I'm not sure how to handle his not wanting her because his actions do speak differently. This past month he has changed alot and been talking about the baby more. He keeps asking if we will still be together after the baby is born and he says he doesn't know what the future holds.
Part of me wants to run but my gut and my heart tell me to be patient. He is under alot of stress with the divorce and moving right now but he has been different. I hear from him more and we are talking....seeing each other more. I also know that I dod not have to have his permission to use his last name. I also feel very guilty about filing for child support .