Advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Advice please
3
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 11:48am

I am new to this board and find it great! Its so supportive and no bashing ,like on some other message boards.

I am a MW in an A with a MM who is 12 years older than me.We met at work.My AP is very unhappy in his M and mine ,if not great,is fine( no big issues).We have kissed and now both want to take the final step.You guessed it right! we want to do the deed.We have talked about wanting it bad,too much of build up in the last 6 months.I have had a one nighter before this but that was just that,no A.Its first for my AP.So my question is ,how do i give him the final push to just go for it.I have shown interest and told my desire but my AP is a bit hesitant.I am not sure why he is being so even though he wants it bad.We are crazy in love and would leave our M's in a flash but we dont have any plans as of now,havent discussed.
Thought? Advice?
TIA
ilovehimso

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: ilovehimso
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 12:02pm

>>>"how do i give him the final push to just go for it.I have shown interest and told my desire but my AP is a bit hesitant.I am not sure why he is being so even though he wants it bad."<<<

When a man really wants it. He doesn't need any "final" pushing from you. He's 12-years older than you? Then he's old enough to find a way if he really wants it that bad.

>>>"We are crazy in love and would leave our M's in a flash but we dont have any plans as of now,havent discussed."<<<

Be careful you're not just projecting your wants onto him. He may not feel the same way and you'd be left holding the bag and asking "why?"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: ilovehimso
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 12:07pm

>>>"We are crazy in love and would leave our M's in a flash but we dont have any plans as of now,havent discussed."<<<

How do you know you would both leave your M's in a flash if you haven't discussed it? This is a very dangerous assumption.

As for crossing that final line. Glo said it well, a man doesn't generally need "pushing". So, my advice? Take it a day at a time if that is what you really want.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
In reply to: ilovehimso
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 1:53pm

Hi there and welcome,

If you AP is hesitant to take the physical step the worst thing you can do is push him! Just imagine if you did push or manipulate him into having sex, then he totally regrets it after. How would you feel? Not so good, huh... if you really care about your AP you will be there for him without pushing him into doing something he's obviously not ready to do.

take care,

trixie xo

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to